August: In a Nutshell
Would you freakin’ believe it? It’s the last day of August already! Tomorrow is September 1st – Happy first day at Hogwarts, fellow magical friends! This month had dragged by both so quickly and painfully slow. If last month, I described
July as
Awesomely Blessed, today I would say that August was
Pleasingly Demanding. I don’t know if being hectic is pleasing, but in my case, it is. It’s a hard life, both at home and in school (I won’t add my social life since it’s currently dead), but I’m sure all the hard work I’ve been committing myself into and all the zits I’ve been depressingly acquiring will definitely lead me somewhere (where that somewhere is, I’m not sure yet – although I hope Losing Weight is one of them) big and wonderful.
As a
song goes, “Throw your sticks and your stones, throw your bombs and your blows. But you’re not gonna break my soul.” So, let’s do this, September!
AUGUST ARCHIVESPhoto Blog: A Night of Glamour
(Tuesday, August 7, 2012)This was my first photo blog after 36401739472 years. Easily one of the best nights of my existence, the school’s Acquaintance Party was a success (exception: food), especially the Liberal Arts Society’s Broadway-inspired production number. Each Institute was to perform to either represent their major, or just to embarrass the shit out of them. And easily, no biasness or anything, but half of us are really born performers (not me though). We basically had the
best one – even the caterers would agree with me. To make this short:
we are awesome. (Check my skirt out. Thank my mom.)
Shooting School Spirit
(Sunday, August 12, 2012)This was basically a Roosevelt College System appreciation post. It took me a long time to reveal what school I go to and burn my bushy eyebrows off. I know, I was so hypocrite and ungrateful by doing what I did, but with this post I hope I had made up to my shortcomings regarding my lack of declaration of the school spirit. I realized that it
doesn’t matter if I don’t go to big universities like what other people expected me to. I realized that the knowledge and experiences I acquire are the ones that matter. That’s what schools are: they are catalysts for development and not a subject for eternally shallow bragging. “It’s not about whether your school is big and famous, and you have a basketball team who makes every game look like a TV commercial; it’s still about the experience and knowledge you get from it, and how it molds you to be a better student that will lead you to a better future.” Spirit fingers, everyone! (Hayden spirit fingers,
not the Solagne.)
Lessons from a Stranger
(Saturday, August 18, 2012)This particular experience is one of my many awkward ones, although this one is the awkward type that I won’t mind sharing to other people. Mistaking someone for another person is one thing, but talking to that person and somehow knowing a bit about him is another. This stranger was so experienced and erudite that keeping up a conversation felt both like an easy-breezy task and a heavy responsibility. I could have listened to him talk forever because that’s what I do at conversations: I listen, but as much as I would have wanted to just listen, I felt like my silence was an
insult. But thank the Heavens, I managed to not become a breathing statue. His parting words were, “Just keep in mind what your goals are and do everything to accomplish them. Good luck.” Imprinted!
Madly Inconsistent Hankering
(Saturday, August 25, 2012)If you may ask what
hankering means, it’s synonymous to
yearning or
longing. I’ve always been an inconsistent person, from my choices to my moods, even to whether I miss someone or not. But, for one miraculous moment, I was consistent with this post. I was sure that the people listed were the ones I missed the most (although that part about Sam and Kristen was made out of miserable fandom inside me). So if you were part of this Hankering List (
hankering sounds weird, doesn’t it?), congratulations, I miss you. Let’s hang out soon, okay? Including you, Sam and Kristen.
STRIKING QUOTE“Sometimes you make choices in life, and sometimes choices make you.” ©
If I Stay, Gayle Forman
BOOKS UPDATEI had some rough calculation regarding my Goal: 100 Reads – if I read an average of three books a month, then at the end of the year, I would only reach 90 reads.
90 freakin’ reads! That falls too short for my goal! Maybe I should read like a maniac during school break if I’m really into this big life ambition of mine, which I am. Dear books, come at me?
August reads:
Delirium by Lauren Oliver (incredible but such a cliff-hanger);
If I Stay by Gayle Forman (less magnificent than
Before I Fall. Adam is perfect though. Also a cliff-hanger);
Starters by Lissa Price (not the plot I was expecting when I was so itching to read it – maybe it was the cover that called to me – but the idea was nice and totally dystopia. There was one revolting moment with the Old Man, though).
Current read:
Clockwork Angel (from
The Infernal Devices series) by Cassandra Clare (grasping for everything every time I read this – all the feels, oh my God);
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley (because it was said that it’s one of the first dystopia novels published. Why is it so hard to spell the author’s name, though? I got this copy from the Rotaract Club.)
FAVORITE PERSON/S
Tada! I’m featuring two people under this section this month: Khaye V. and Shenna G. I love these girls both because they care about me and they’re crazy. These two are like two shades of polar attitudes. Khaye is the always energetic and loud one; she’s never sad and stressed; we like the same genre of music; we both love Chris Brown; we don’t care if we get fat and be forever alone; we caress each other’s chests and update about our irregular menstrual cycle. On the other hand, Shenna is the silent type, but her crazy side is just lingering in the corner, ready to burst out dancing when the lively music goes on; she’s my first close friend in RCS; she talks weird and I like it; we are both kinda weird, too; we can survive the walk without talking – we both like some dose of silence from time to time; we are on our way to becoming Patrons of the Arts.
I hope when trying time comes, the friendship we have won’t negatively change. Life’s better when we have crazy friends.
FAVORITE PHOTO/GIF ©
This is Jace Wayland, the hot, annoying, sarcastic and romantic Shadowhunter from the Shadow World made by Cassandra Clare’s mad writing skills and monster-invaded imagination. Jace will be played by Jamie Campbell Bower. So yes, that means
City of Bones, the first book from
The Mortal Instruments series (which I first read July last year), is currently under production for its movie adaptation. As far as I know, the movie will be released August 2013. It seems like 2013 will be a book-adapted movie year. This is awesome news for bookworms out there. I’m so stoked to see everything:
The Host,
City of Bones,
Catching Fire,
Sea of Monsters, et al! I hope I’d also see
Monsters University and
Despicable Me 2. Aaah, movies!
ONLINE ENDEVOURSNone. Seriously. Check my
Tumblr blog and you’d be dead bored.
SONGS OF THE MONTH
CHAMPAGNE TO POPNothing in particular at the moment. Well, okay, if you count some unsure and future successful projects, I have a lot of them in my bag. RCS Chronicle,
check (although it’s still on production process, so the success of this is a few days shy away). Rotaract Club Library Corner,
check (we’re still covering the books, but the plan’s going smooth – that’s what I know anyway). Badminton is finally over, hello table tennis,
check (with the 1.5 semester I spent in TIC playing table tennis, I learned to prefer it than the long-shaft racket games, i.e. badminton, tennis).
I’m glad August is over. September is another tight month for everyone since it’s the Sports Fest on the last week. Of course, ILA members would be working their asses off the whole month for the cheer dance competition and the sports events. I don’t know if I want to do this whole cheering thing since I had such traumatic experiences concerning this form of dance. I don’t know, but we’ll see.
September Activity List (tentative):
- I Do Bidoo Bidoo (with Mary Ann and/or Khaye)
- RI District 3800 District Assembly
- Opening of Rotaract Club Library Corner
- The Perks of Being a Wallflower (with Zandro and Kathleen)
- Candy Fair 2012 (with Diana)
- RCS Sports Fest
I have such a fun-filled life, don’t you think so? Now get jealous.
Madly Inconsistent Hankering
I’m not the type of person who always miss (or yearn for) another person or group of people easily. When somebody tells me, “I miss you” (either through SMS or online), I’m like,
What? I just saw you last week and you already miss me? Although, for discretion and sensitivity purposes, I say that I miss them back. That’s barely the case, but what the hell, they’re friends.
I only miss someone when I don’t see them in a span of three months onwards. I have so much to do and too many fictions to read to have time to think about them or reminisce the past that just happened a few weeks ago. It’s not that I don’t love them, because I
do… I’m just not that person. I’m not emotional when it comes to interpersonal relationships. I don’t recollect a lot. I don’t have millions of friends so the “you’ve changed tastes in friends” line doesn’t work with me. Plus, I avoid missing someone as much as possible, because when I do –
holy heavens! – the world is doomed.
With the school work and club responsibilities I’m balancing on my hands, together with my reading and World Wide Web endeavors, I barely communicate with my friends outside college (even those inside are unfortunately disregarded). And as much as I hate saying this, I miss them.
I miss my best friend, Zandro. When we still lived in the same neighborhood, we didn’t always see each other. But even if that was the case, at least we knew that we were just a few-calorie-burner-walk away. There was the certainty and peace of mind. But my family moved in to a new place and the Best Friends Catching Up seems almost impossible. This year, we only met once in February (because of nothing in particular) and twice in April (to see
The Hunger Games and attend our friend’s debut). We will see each other again this September for
The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It’s a bit sad to say, but I guess during these hustling and bustling times, we are only tied by the Unseen Force of Care and, yes, of movies. I miss him –
a lot. Every time we see each other we only talk and talk and talk. We spend, like, five hours just conferring with each other the mediocrity of our daily lives. I hope we don’t get shooed and dragged out of the cinemas when we see
TPOBAW for the noise made by our restless mouths.
I miss Diana and Scarlet. They are my friends from my first college. We were so closed together that we were named Tres Marias by our schoolmates already. They are basically two of the reasons why I don’t regret my decisions regarding my academic life when I believe I should be. I last saw them on April, and as much as I would want to reminisce about our short reunion, I
can’t because that was a half epically amazing and half epically suicidal day. I was planning on visiting them again this month (after I buy books in Fully Booked), but I guess I wouldn’t be able to since –
tada – I’m fucking busy. I just hope this September I would attend the Candy Fair with Diana.
I miss Sam Concepcion. I last saw him in person at last year’s Candy Fair. And it wasn’t actually memorable because that was it: I
just saw him. The members of his fan club – the Samsters (including me) – didn’t get to “bond” with him since he was running late for another commitment. It was like
nothing that I only remember Javy Gil and AJ Perez’s tribute that day; no Sam. That’s just sad. My original plan this August was to hit the cinemas for his movie,
I Do Bidoo Bidoo (better if I go to the premier night). But with the works I’m getting myself into these past few weeks, my brief fan affair with Sam threatens to again be postponed. And I’m slowly getting broke, so I guess even the movie I wouldn’t be able to see. Candy Fair (again), perhaps? (We will get married anyway, so what’s the fuss, right?)
I miss my online babies. This includes the Skittles Babies (
Cez,
Marie,
Trisha),
Sai,
Patricia, et al. My presence in the Internet world is barely felt. I go online and just
stare at everything. I hardly mention these wonderful people and catch up with them, either because I know they’re also busy or because, okay, I’m getting boring. I miss our fangirl sessions and arguments on who Sam is currently dating – and why it hurts us. I swear, my loves: I will make it up to you on the Holidays.
I miss Kristen Stewart. This may sound pathetic because she doesn’t know me and doesn’t care, but I do [miss her]. I love Kristen not because of
Twilight, but I would give credit to the saga anyway because I wouldn’t be able to recognize the teeny, boyish girl from the
Panic Room if it weren’t for these blockbuster movies. But let me just flatten things out: I love Kristen because of
The Runaways. I saw the movie because it was intriguing and because the girls were hot, but I wasn’t expecting that she would be the hottest in it. And the rest of the cyber stalking is history. Now, I miss her because she’s going through a lot right nowadays regarding the choices she made. When I learned about her affair, it didn’t bother me for two days. It was weird, okay, but it was her
choice. I still love her even though some of her “fans” turned their backs. And I don’t know if Robert Pattinson and she would get back together. But whatever their decisions are, people
shouldn’t judge them. As Sara Bareilles’s song goes, “Who cares if you disagree, you are not me. Who made you king of anything? So you dare tell me who to be. Who died and made you king of anything?”
I don’t know if I should poke myself for not exerting effort to lessen this yearning for several of the aforementioned people (and wake up from this Sam-and-Kristen-care-about-me reverie). I’m not even sure if I’m not really
that hectic and I’m just thinking that that’s the case. I should get my priorities straight and cut my procrastination to have more time for people that matter. Is there a class for time management?
Lessons from a Stranger
I’ve had a couple of awkward moments that I had managed to save myself from (or had executed social suicide when things come to worst). Awkward moments are awkward, but some of them are so awkward that it doesn’t actually make me feel awkward when I think about it. (How many times did I say “awkward”?) One of them is my awkward moment with a total stranger I met on the last day of July this year.
I hopped on a public transportation (since I’m not rich and don’t have a car) to go to my friend’s house. This stranger came in after maybe two minutes. I have this habit of looking at all the faces of new, incoming passengers, and I did. I saw him and looked away… and looked back again. He looked so familiar that I just stared at him for a couple of seconds. It was kind of rude, really, but he was
also staring at me. I realized he looked like one of the professors in my school. I smiled and said, “Hello, Sir! I didn’t know you live in this area.” He asked me why I was in that area also and where I went. I told him the place. It was getting awkward since the professor-I-thought-he-was and I barely talked in school. (Really, I wasn’t planning on talking to him but it would be disrespectful if I didn’t acknowledge him, right?)
He asked me, “In what station are you assigned now?” I didn’t know what my face looked like at that moment, but my mind was forming words like
WTF is this? Station? Umm. This is weird. I looked away for a moment because it was really becoming awkward and I knew it was already a mistaken identity problem. I kept my cool and said, “What station? What do you mean, Sir?” I gave him a moment to realize what I just realized and sink in what had just sunk in my mind. Then I let out a giggle.
I told him I had mistaken him for my professor and he said that he had also mistaken me for his former student. I apologized a couple of times, and he said that it was okay. It was weird – the whole nine yards. He joked, “I didn’t know there’s someone out there that looked like me.” I continued throwing nervous giggles and slapping my huge forehead. He asked where I worked and I said that I’m still a student, taking this and that major. Then he said, “Why are you taking that course?” Err… umm… “Because I want to,” I answered.
And the life lessons from this stranger started.
He talked about knowing what our purposes are because we wouldn’t live a complete life if we don’t. “Where do you see yourself after, say, five years? Would you have regrets with what you had done when you look back?” I didn’t answer because I’m not that kind of person, and because I thought it was a rhetorical question. He shared that when he was young he wanted to be an Agricultural Engineer because he wanted to help in cultivating good food for the people, but his father sent him to a Civil Engineering school (I didn’t know what happened). He talked about happiness and God and faith (and I felt uncomfortable because I didn’t like sharing what I think about God and faith with others; these are personal things). He said that the youth nowadays are becoming rebels because their parents don’t listen to them. I agreed. “If you want something, you should learn to defend it and reason out.”
I just nodded and nodded because I’m not a conversationalist unless it’s about books or the RH Bill. He continued talking. When I was becoming really quiet that it seemed offensive already, I asked, “So you mean, Sir, everything we want is always good for us?” He answered that yes, it is, just as long as we know why we wanted it in the first place and why we think it’s good for us. For an example, he used Cong. Manny Pacquiao’s journey to where he is right now. Pacquiao’s family didn’t want him to get into boxing before because, hello,
boxing. Competitive boxing is only safe if you don’t get punched anywhere or if your opponent is disabled. But Pacquiao wanted to do it because it’s his passion and the only way to unbind his family from the chains of poverty. He did: He unbounded his family and gave them mansions and half a million pesos worth of designer bags; he’s the champion in several boxing categories; he’s a politician; he eats breakfast in London, lunch in Beijing and dinner in Johannesburg; he allots time for preaching and religion; he helps people. He’s successful because he knew what he wanted even before JK Rowling released
Harry Potter and made every kid cry because Hogwarts doesn’t really exist. He knew what his goals are from the very start.
He reached his destination, and I felt half relieved and half upset. I was
relieved because I’m not really a smart talker and I would just embarrass the shit out of me; I was
upset because I still wanted to ask some things since,
duh, I can relate. His parting words were, “Just keep in mind what your goals are and do everything to accomplish them. Good luck.”
Sir, I don’t know what your name is or if we will still meet in one of these commuting trips, but thank you. I’m still incompletely sure with what I want, but when
incomplete becomes
complete, I swear on the River Styx: I’d stand up for it.
Shooting School Spirit
For a long time, I haven’t been stating what school I go to at the moment, until I made the photo blog last week. To be honest, I’ve told only my closest friends about the school. I was having second thoughts and insecurities about it. Being the batch Valedictorian, people expected me to go to big time universities (see: UST, Ateneo, De La Salle) or be an “Iskolar ng Bayan”. I
seriously wanted to exceed their expectations. I wanted to go to a prestigious school and proudly declare the school spirit. But chasing this dream proved unsuccessful. I was so desperate, hopeless and frustrated that I even stopped schooling for five months. Until I found the college I’m currently going to.I can now proudly declare that I’m a Rooseveltian (at least that’s what they call us); I go to Roosevelt College System, located in Sumulong Highway, Cainta, Rizal. (Sometimes I say that it’s located in Marikina, since it’s just a few cartwheels away from the city.)
I went to an international school on my first year as a college student. I took a program which I only took because it sounded cool and because it’s the one that appealed to me the most. I’m not sure if I regret it. I don’t want to regret it. Maybe I hate myself for taking something I know I don’t like and don’t see myself doing in the future, but I’m grateful for the people I met in that school – and the medal plus flash drive I got for a blogging contest. I love the people I met there, up until now I try to communicate and hang out with them. And freakin’ heavens! I met my long time crush there! How can I even try to forget and regret? Yes, I regret the time I
lost, but I definitely cherish the time I spent.On the other hand, with Roosevelt, I can be myself. Unlike the first college I went to, I don’t have to worry about fitting in since almost a quarter of the student body is just as peculiar as me. It’s easier to make friends and goof around. We don’t know much about social etiquette but we’re socially
acceptable. I’m taking Bachelor of Arts in Broadcasting, a program that I love and would definitely see myself doing in four years. We’ve been studying subjects that I enjoy and making projects that are, although weird and sometimes embarrassing, will help each one of us in the end. I’m part of a Society that pushes everyone to their limits, making us discover a lot about ourselves. They made me dance even though dancing
hates me. We had done musicals even though my vocal range could pass as a cockroach’s. I wore super heels for the first time to attend the school’s acquaintance party even though I’m clumsy-to-the-point-of-disability.
The influence and knowledge I acquire in school also stretches outside it. For the past months I’ve been engaging in different awesome activities that I only imagined in my little world before. My article got
published in The Philippine Daily Inquirer’s lifestyle section,
2bU; I participated in outreach projects with the Rotaract Club (August 11-12) to help those who were devastated by the bitch called Monsoon Rains; my first mountain-ish had been trekked for a tree planting ceremony hosted by the local government.
The people I met are just as awesome. From left to right, I have friends who I can ask questions about religion, politics, books and moral standards with – topics I hopelessly wanted to ask others about but couldn’t find anyone to answer until I met them. I have friends who don’t mind changing clothes in the same room with me and don’t care if I suddenly touch their chests. I have friends whose humor escalates higher each day. They make me cry, laugh and laugh and cry at the same time. They are fantastic friends. They may be different, weird and awkward all over, but they’re fantastic.
This isn’t to say that school is easy. It’s still hard – ass hard – but it’s fun. I like being in school. I like learning. I like seeing my friends. School seems so much easier when I know that there is something I look forward to each day. Being a secretary of two different, active clubs is killer, but I’m here to stay and live. I don’t have serious crushes in Roosevelt (the one I met in my first college is still crush-on going), but I don’t care. I’m filled with love and shooting stars.
It’s not about whether your school is big and famous and you have a basketball team who makes every game look like a TV commercial; it’s still about the experience and knowledge you get from it, and how it molds you to be a better student that will lead you to a better future.
Photos ©
x,
xo
Photo Blog: A Night of Glamour
Students from the different institutes and faculty members were treated to a night of glitz and glamour with the Roosevelt College System Acquaintance Party, “A Night of Glamour”, held last July 31, 2012, Tuesday, at the Marikina Convention Center Plenary Hall.
Selected members of the Liberal Arts Society (including me, yay!) performed a Broadway production number from the musical, “Memphis”, singing and dancing to the beat of Steal Your Rock and Roll. I don’t want to sound like a bragging jerk or anything, but WE HAD THE BEST PRESENTATION! Serious to God, I swear.
Newly elected officers were also inducted and did the oath taking ceremony during the night. Another serious to God: we all looked gorgeous.
From left: Rose Ann Mesias, President; Mary Ann Bruan, Vice President; Christine Faye Ordas, Secretary; Dyanne Marie Aldaba, Assistant Secretary; Klara Maye Josef, Treasurer; Kristian Micah Reyes, Auditor; Mary Rodelyn Pagcaliwagan, Muse; Rachelle Khaye Villar, 2nd year Representative; Shenna Geronimo, 3rd year Representative; Emmanuel del Rosario, 4th year Representative. (Not in photo: John Paul Lecaros, Escort; Kei Taira, 1st year Representative.)
I am also the secretary of the Rotaract Club and the AB Broadcasting representative of Sports Club (sports, guys, of all things).
Photo booth opportunities with the seniors and the freshmen – we’re friendly that much.
My buddy for the night was Khaye (another AB Broadcasting student), whom I fondly call Kaykay, who knows who FCC is, who can do America’s Next Top Model poses with me, and whom I can caress chests with (checking for cancer signs) and visit thrift shops with (still on recession period).
We are very sorry for the shitfaces.Copyright: All photos are not mine. I can’t take photos properly. Credits go to Mr. C. Angel, D. Mones, A.L. Reyes, T.A. Lerit, F.M. Angeles and Photomagic Booth.
Unnecessary updates
I can’t write a decent blog entry right now because I’m so busy the unwanted hairs are all over. The Society had been preparing and writing so much for the reproduction of the school bulletin,
RCS Chronicle, their hands are already bleeding. As the secretary, I’m expected to make the monthly activity report of the Society and also write for the paper. My brain is literally drying –
dryingggg. When my English runs short, I try to stop and read a little – it gives me ideas and reminds me that I’m doing what I’m doing because I want to be a journalist/writer. These are just little tasks for building big steps for the palace called My Ambition in Life. I’m also quite busy being the secretary (again) of the Rotaract Club. It’s a hard life but I regret nothing, serious to God.
I can do this. We can do this.
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a woeful & chaotic diary since 071409
August: In a Nutshell
Would you freakin’ believe it? It’s the last day of August already! Tomorrow is September 1st – Happy first day at Hogwarts, fellow magical friends! This month had dragged by both so quickly and painfully slow. If last month, I described
July as
Awesomely Blessed, today I would say that August was
Pleasingly Demanding. I don’t know if being hectic is pleasing, but in my case, it is. It’s a hard life, both at home and in school (I won’t add my social life since it’s currently dead), but I’m sure all the hard work I’ve been committing myself into and all the zits I’ve been depressingly acquiring will definitely lead me somewhere (where that somewhere is, I’m not sure yet – although I hope Losing Weight is one of them) big and wonderful.
As a
song goes, “Throw your sticks and your stones, throw your bombs and your blows. But you’re not gonna break my soul.” So, let’s do this, September!
AUGUST ARCHIVESPhoto Blog: A Night of Glamour
(Tuesday, August 7, 2012)This was my first photo blog after 36401739472 years. Easily one of the best nights of my existence, the school’s Acquaintance Party was a success (exception: food), especially the Liberal Arts Society’s Broadway-inspired production number. Each Institute was to perform to either represent their major, or just to embarrass the shit out of them. And easily, no biasness or anything, but half of us are really born performers (not me though). We basically had the
best one – even the caterers would agree with me. To make this short:
we are awesome. (Check my skirt out. Thank my mom.)
Shooting School Spirit
(Sunday, August 12, 2012)This was basically a Roosevelt College System appreciation post. It took me a long time to reveal what school I go to and burn my bushy eyebrows off. I know, I was so hypocrite and ungrateful by doing what I did, but with this post I hope I had made up to my shortcomings regarding my lack of declaration of the school spirit. I realized that it
doesn’t matter if I don’t go to big universities like what other people expected me to. I realized that the knowledge and experiences I acquire are the ones that matter. That’s what schools are: they are catalysts for development and not a subject for eternally shallow bragging. “It’s not about whether your school is big and famous, and you have a basketball team who makes every game look like a TV commercial; it’s still about the experience and knowledge you get from it, and how it molds you to be a better student that will lead you to a better future.” Spirit fingers, everyone! (Hayden spirit fingers,
not the Solagne.)
Lessons from a Stranger
(Saturday, August 18, 2012)This particular experience is one of my many awkward ones, although this one is the awkward type that I won’t mind sharing to other people. Mistaking someone for another person is one thing, but talking to that person and somehow knowing a bit about him is another. This stranger was so experienced and erudite that keeping up a conversation felt both like an easy-breezy task and a heavy responsibility. I could have listened to him talk forever because that’s what I do at conversations: I listen, but as much as I would have wanted to just listen, I felt like my silence was an
insult. But thank the Heavens, I managed to not become a breathing statue. His parting words were, “Just keep in mind what your goals are and do everything to accomplish them. Good luck.” Imprinted!
Madly Inconsistent Hankering
(Saturday, August 25, 2012)If you may ask what
hankering means, it’s synonymous to
yearning or
longing. I’ve always been an inconsistent person, from my choices to my moods, even to whether I miss someone or not. But, for one miraculous moment, I was consistent with this post. I was sure that the people listed were the ones I missed the most (although that part about Sam and Kristen was made out of miserable fandom inside me). So if you were part of this Hankering List (
hankering sounds weird, doesn’t it?), congratulations, I miss you. Let’s hang out soon, okay? Including you, Sam and Kristen.
STRIKING QUOTE“Sometimes you make choices in life, and sometimes choices make you.” ©
If I Stay, Gayle Forman
BOOKS UPDATEI had some rough calculation regarding my Goal: 100 Reads – if I read an average of three books a month, then at the end of the year, I would only reach 90 reads.
90 freakin’ reads! That falls too short for my goal! Maybe I should read like a maniac during school break if I’m really into this big life ambition of mine, which I am. Dear books, come at me?
August reads:
Delirium by Lauren Oliver (incredible but such a cliff-hanger);
If I Stay by Gayle Forman (less magnificent than
Before I Fall. Adam is perfect though. Also a cliff-hanger);
Starters by Lissa Price (not the plot I was expecting when I was so itching to read it – maybe it was the cover that called to me – but the idea was nice and totally dystopia. There was one revolting moment with the Old Man, though).
Current read:
Clockwork Angel (from
The Infernal Devices series) by Cassandra Clare (grasping for everything every time I read this – all the feels, oh my God);
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley (because it was said that it’s one of the first dystopia novels published. Why is it so hard to spell the author’s name, though? I got this copy from the Rotaract Club.)
FAVORITE PERSON/STada! I’m featuring two people under this section this month: Khaye V. and Shenna G. I love these girls both because they care about me and they’re crazy. These two are like two shades of polar attitudes. Khaye is the always energetic and loud one; she’s never sad and stressed; we like the same genre of music; we both love Chris Brown; we don’t care if we get fat and be forever alone; we caress each other’s chests and update about our irregular menstrual cycle. On the other hand, Shenna is the silent type, but her crazy side is just lingering in the corner, ready to burst out dancing when the lively music goes on; she’s my first close friend in RCS; she talks weird and I like it; we are both kinda weird, too; we can survive the walk without talking – we both like some dose of silence from time to time; we are on our way to becoming Patrons of the Arts.
I hope when trying time comes, the friendship we have won’t negatively change. Life’s better when we have crazy friends.
FAVORITE PHOTO/GIF ©This is Jace Wayland, the hot, annoying, sarcastic and romantic Shadowhunter from the Shadow World made by Cassandra Clare’s mad writing skills and monster-invaded imagination. Jace will be played by Jamie Campbell Bower. So yes, that means
City of Bones, the first book from
The Mortal Instruments series (which I first read July last year), is currently under production for its movie adaptation. As far as I know, the movie will be released August 2013. It seems like 2013 will be a book-adapted movie year. This is awesome news for bookworms out there. I’m so stoked to see everything:
The Host,
City of Bones,
Catching Fire,
Sea of Monsters, et al! I hope I’d also see
Monsters University and
Despicable Me 2. Aaah, movies!
ONLINE ENDEVOURSNone. Seriously. Check my
Tumblr blog and you’d be dead bored.
SONGS OF THE MONTH
CHAMPAGNE TO POPNothing in particular at the moment. Well, okay, if you count some unsure and future successful projects, I have a lot of them in my bag. RCS Chronicle,
check (although it’s still on production process, so the success of this is a few days shy away). Rotaract Club Library Corner,
check (we’re still covering the books, but the plan’s going smooth – that’s what I know anyway). Badminton is finally over, hello table tennis,
check (with the 1.5 semester I spent in TIC playing table tennis, I learned to prefer it than the long-shaft racket games, i.e. badminton, tennis).
I’m glad August is over. September is another tight month for everyone since it’s the Sports Fest on the last week. Of course, ILA members would be working their asses off the whole month for the cheer dance competition and the sports events. I don’t know if I want to do this whole cheering thing since I had such traumatic experiences concerning this form of dance. I don’t know, but we’ll see.
September Activity List (tentative):
- I Do Bidoo Bidoo (with Mary Ann and/or Khaye)
- RI District 3800 District Assembly
- Opening of Rotaract Club Library Corner
- The Perks of Being a Wallflower (with Zandro and Kathleen)
- Candy Fair 2012 (with Diana)
- RCS Sports Fest
I have such a fun-filled life, don’t you think so? Now get jealous.
Madly Inconsistent Hankering
I’m not the type of person who always miss (or yearn for) another person or group of people easily. When somebody tells me, “I miss you” (either through SMS or online), I’m like,
What? I just saw you last week and you already miss me? Although, for discretion and sensitivity purposes, I say that I miss them back. That’s barely the case, but what the hell, they’re friends.
I only miss someone when I don’t see them in a span of three months onwards. I have so much to do and too many fictions to read to have time to think about them or reminisce the past that just happened a few weeks ago. It’s not that I don’t love them, because I
do… I’m just not that person. I’m not emotional when it comes to interpersonal relationships. I don’t recollect a lot. I don’t have millions of friends so the “you’ve changed tastes in friends” line doesn’t work with me. Plus, I avoid missing someone as much as possible, because when I do –
holy heavens! – the world is doomed.
With the school work and club responsibilities I’m balancing on my hands, together with my reading and World Wide Web endeavors, I barely communicate with my friends outside college (even those inside are unfortunately disregarded). And as much as I hate saying this, I miss them.
I miss my best friend, Zandro. When we still lived in the same neighborhood, we didn’t always see each other. But even if that was the case, at least we knew that we were just a few-calorie-burner-walk away. There was the certainty and peace of mind. But my family moved in to a new place and the Best Friends Catching Up seems almost impossible. This year, we only met once in February (because of nothing in particular) and twice in April (to see
The Hunger Games and attend our friend’s debut). We will see each other again this September for
The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It’s a bit sad to say, but I guess during these hustling and bustling times, we are only tied by the Unseen Force of Care and, yes, of movies. I miss him –
a lot. Every time we see each other we only talk and talk and talk. We spend, like, five hours just conferring with each other the mediocrity of our daily lives. I hope we don’t get shooed and dragged out of the cinemas when we see
TPOBAW for the noise made by our restless mouths.
I miss Diana and Scarlet. They are my friends from my first college. We were so closed together that we were named Tres Marias by our schoolmates already. They are basically two of the reasons why I don’t regret my decisions regarding my academic life when I believe I should be. I last saw them on April, and as much as I would want to reminisce about our short reunion, I
can’t because that was a half epically amazing and half epically suicidal day. I was planning on visiting them again this month (after I buy books in Fully Booked), but I guess I wouldn’t be able to since –
tada – I’m fucking busy. I just hope this September I would attend the Candy Fair with Diana.
I miss Sam Concepcion. I last saw him in person at last year’s Candy Fair. And it wasn’t actually memorable because that was it: I
just saw him. The members of his fan club – the Samsters (including me) – didn’t get to “bond” with him since he was running late for another commitment. It was like
nothing that I only remember Javy Gil and AJ Perez’s tribute that day; no Sam. That’s just sad. My original plan this August was to hit the cinemas for his movie,
I Do Bidoo Bidoo (better if I go to the premier night). But with the works I’m getting myself into these past few weeks, my brief fan affair with Sam threatens to again be postponed. And I’m slowly getting broke, so I guess even the movie I wouldn’t be able to see. Candy Fair (again), perhaps? (We will get married anyway, so what’s the fuss, right?)
I miss my online babies. This includes the Skittles Babies (
Cez,
Marie,
Trisha),
Sai,
Patricia, et al. My presence in the Internet world is barely felt. I go online and just
stare at everything. I hardly mention these wonderful people and catch up with them, either because I know they’re also busy or because, okay, I’m getting boring. I miss our fangirl sessions and arguments on who Sam is currently dating – and why it hurts us. I swear, my loves: I will make it up to you on the Holidays.
I miss Kristen Stewart. This may sound pathetic because she doesn’t know me and doesn’t care, but I do [miss her]. I love Kristen not because of
Twilight, but I would give credit to the saga anyway because I wouldn’t be able to recognize the teeny, boyish girl from the
Panic Room if it weren’t for these blockbuster movies. But let me just flatten things out: I love Kristen because of
The Runaways. I saw the movie because it was intriguing and because the girls were hot, but I wasn’t expecting that she would be the hottest in it. And the rest of the cyber stalking is history. Now, I miss her because she’s going through a lot right nowadays regarding the choices she made. When I learned about her affair, it didn’t bother me for two days. It was weird, okay, but it was her
choice. I still love her even though some of her “fans” turned their backs. And I don’t know if Robert Pattinson and she would get back together. But whatever their decisions are, people
shouldn’t judge them. As Sara Bareilles’s song goes, “Who cares if you disagree, you are not me. Who made you king of anything? So you dare tell me who to be. Who died and made you king of anything?”
I don’t know if I should poke myself for not exerting effort to lessen this yearning for several of the aforementioned people (and wake up from this Sam-and-Kristen-care-about-me reverie). I’m not even sure if I’m not really
that hectic and I’m just thinking that that’s the case. I should get my priorities straight and cut my procrastination to have more time for people that matter. Is there a class for time management?
Lessons from a Stranger
I’ve had a couple of awkward moments that I had managed to save myself from (or had executed social suicide when things come to worst). Awkward moments are awkward, but some of them are so awkward that it doesn’t actually make me feel awkward when I think about it. (How many times did I say “awkward”?) One of them is my awkward moment with a total stranger I met on the last day of July this year.
I hopped on a public transportation (since I’m not rich and don’t have a car) to go to my friend’s house. This stranger came in after maybe two minutes. I have this habit of looking at all the faces of new, incoming passengers, and I did. I saw him and looked away… and looked back again. He looked so familiar that I just stared at him for a couple of seconds. It was kind of rude, really, but he was
also staring at me. I realized he looked like one of the professors in my school. I smiled and said, “Hello, Sir! I didn’t know you live in this area.” He asked me why I was in that area also and where I went. I told him the place. It was getting awkward since the professor-I-thought-he-was and I barely talked in school. (Really, I wasn’t planning on talking to him but it would be disrespectful if I didn’t acknowledge him, right?)
He asked me, “In what station are you assigned now?” I didn’t know what my face looked like at that moment, but my mind was forming words like
WTF is this? Station? Umm. This is weird. I looked away for a moment because it was really becoming awkward and I knew it was already a mistaken identity problem. I kept my cool and said, “What station? What do you mean, Sir?” I gave him a moment to realize what I just realized and sink in what had just sunk in my mind. Then I let out a giggle.
I told him I had mistaken him for my professor and he said that he had also mistaken me for his former student. I apologized a couple of times, and he said that it was okay. It was weird – the whole nine yards. He joked, “I didn’t know there’s someone out there that looked like me.” I continued throwing nervous giggles and slapping my huge forehead. He asked where I worked and I said that I’m still a student, taking this and that major. Then he said, “Why are you taking that course?” Err… umm… “Because I want to,” I answered.
And the life lessons from this stranger started.
He talked about knowing what our purposes are because we wouldn’t live a complete life if we don’t. “Where do you see yourself after, say, five years? Would you have regrets with what you had done when you look back?” I didn’t answer because I’m not that kind of person, and because I thought it was a rhetorical question. He shared that when he was young he wanted to be an Agricultural Engineer because he wanted to help in cultivating good food for the people, but his father sent him to a Civil Engineering school (I didn’t know what happened). He talked about happiness and God and faith (and I felt uncomfortable because I didn’t like sharing what I think about God and faith with others; these are personal things). He said that the youth nowadays are becoming rebels because their parents don’t listen to them. I agreed. “If you want something, you should learn to defend it and reason out.”
I just nodded and nodded because I’m not a conversationalist unless it’s about books or the RH Bill. He continued talking. When I was becoming really quiet that it seemed offensive already, I asked, “So you mean, Sir, everything we want is always good for us?” He answered that yes, it is, just as long as we know why we wanted it in the first place and why we think it’s good for us. For an example, he used Cong. Manny Pacquiao’s journey to where he is right now. Pacquiao’s family didn’t want him to get into boxing before because, hello,
boxing. Competitive boxing is only safe if you don’t get punched anywhere or if your opponent is disabled. But Pacquiao wanted to do it because it’s his passion and the only way to unbind his family from the chains of poverty. He did: He unbounded his family and gave them mansions and half a million pesos worth of designer bags; he’s the champion in several boxing categories; he’s a politician; he eats breakfast in London, lunch in Beijing and dinner in Johannesburg; he allots time for preaching and religion; he helps people. He’s successful because he knew what he wanted even before JK Rowling released
Harry Potter and made every kid cry because Hogwarts doesn’t really exist. He knew what his goals are from the very start.
He reached his destination, and I felt half relieved and half upset. I was
relieved because I’m not really a smart talker and I would just embarrass the shit out of me; I was
upset because I still wanted to ask some things since,
duh, I can relate. His parting words were, “Just keep in mind what your goals are and do everything to accomplish them. Good luck.”
Sir, I don’t know what your name is or if we will still meet in one of these commuting trips, but thank you. I’m still incompletely sure with what I want, but when
incomplete becomes
complete, I swear on the River Styx: I’d stand up for it.
Shooting School Spirit
For a long time, I haven’t been stating what school I go to at the moment, until I made the photo blog last week. To be honest, I’ve told only my closest friends about the school. I was having second thoughts and insecurities about it. Being the batch Valedictorian, people expected me to go to big time universities (see: UST, Ateneo, De La Salle) or be an “Iskolar ng Bayan”. I
seriously wanted to exceed their expectations. I wanted to go to a prestigious school and proudly declare the school spirit. But chasing this dream proved unsuccessful. I was so desperate, hopeless and frustrated that I even stopped schooling for five months. Until I found the college I’m currently going to.I can now proudly declare that I’m a Rooseveltian (at least that’s what they call us); I go to Roosevelt College System, located in Sumulong Highway, Cainta, Rizal. (Sometimes I say that it’s located in Marikina, since it’s just a few cartwheels away from the city.)I went to an international school on my first year as a college student. I took a program which I only took because it sounded cool and because it’s the one that appealed to me the most. I’m not sure if I regret it. I don’t want to regret it. Maybe I hate myself for taking something I know I don’t like and don’t see myself doing in the future, but I’m grateful for the people I met in that school – and the medal plus flash drive I got for a blogging contest. I love the people I met there, up until now I try to communicate and hang out with them. And freakin’ heavens! I met my long time crush there! How can I even try to forget and regret? Yes, I regret the time I
lost, but I definitely cherish the time I spent.On the other hand, with Roosevelt, I can be myself. Unlike the first college I went to, I don’t have to worry about fitting in since almost a quarter of the student body is just as peculiar as me. It’s easier to make friends and goof around. We don’t know much about social etiquette but we’re socially
acceptable. I’m taking Bachelor of Arts in Broadcasting, a program that I love and would definitely see myself doing in four years. We’ve been studying subjects that I enjoy and making projects that are, although weird and sometimes embarrassing, will help each one of us in the end. I’m part of a Society that pushes everyone to their limits, making us discover a lot about ourselves. They made me dance even though dancing
hates me. We had done musicals even though my vocal range could pass as a cockroach’s. I wore super heels for the first time to attend the school’s acquaintance party even though I’m clumsy-to-the-point-of-disability.
The influence and knowledge I acquire in school also stretches outside it. For the past months I’ve been engaging in different awesome activities that I only imagined in my little world before. My article got
published in The Philippine Daily Inquirer’s lifestyle section,
2bU; I participated in outreach projects with the Rotaract Club (August 11-12) to help those who were devastated by the bitch called Monsoon Rains; my first mountain-ish had been trekked for a tree planting ceremony hosted by the local government.
The people I met are just as awesome. From left to right, I have friends who I can ask questions about religion, politics, books and moral standards with – topics I hopelessly wanted to ask others about but couldn’t find anyone to answer until I met them. I have friends who don’t mind changing clothes in the same room with me and don’t care if I suddenly touch their chests. I have friends whose humor escalates higher each day. They make me cry, laugh and laugh and cry at the same time. They are fantastic friends. They may be different, weird and awkward all over, but they’re fantastic.
This isn’t to say that school is easy. It’s still hard – ass hard – but it’s fun. I like being in school. I like learning. I like seeing my friends. School seems so much easier when I know that there is something I look forward to each day. Being a secretary of two different, active clubs is killer, but I’m here to stay and live. I don’t have serious crushes in Roosevelt (the one I met in my first college is still crush-on going), but I don’t care. I’m filled with love and shooting stars.
It’s not about whether your school is big and famous and you have a basketball team who makes every game look like a TV commercial; it’s still about the experience and knowledge you get from it, and how it molds you to be a better student that will lead you to a better future.
Photos ©
x,
xo
Photo Blog: A Night of Glamour
Students from the different institutes and faculty members were treated to a night of glitz and glamour with the Roosevelt College System Acquaintance Party, “A Night of Glamour”, held last July 31, 2012, Tuesday, at the Marikina Convention Center Plenary Hall.Selected members of the Liberal Arts Society (including me, yay!) performed a Broadway production number from the musical, “Memphis”, singing and dancing to the beat of Steal Your Rock and Roll. I don’t want to sound like a bragging jerk or anything, but WE HAD THE BEST PRESENTATION! Serious to God, I swear.Newly elected officers were also inducted and did the oath taking ceremony during the night. Another serious to God: we all looked gorgeous.
From left: Rose Ann Mesias, President; Mary Ann Bruan, Vice President; Christine Faye Ordas, Secretary; Dyanne Marie Aldaba, Assistant Secretary; Klara Maye Josef, Treasurer; Kristian Micah Reyes, Auditor; Mary Rodelyn Pagcaliwagan, Muse; Rachelle Khaye Villar, 2nd year Representative; Shenna Geronimo, 3rd year Representative; Emmanuel del Rosario, 4th year Representative. (Not in photo: John Paul Lecaros, Escort; Kei Taira, 1st year Representative.)
I am also the secretary of the Rotaract Club and the AB Broadcasting representative of Sports Club (sports, guys, of all things).
Photo booth opportunities with the seniors and the freshmen – we’re friendly that much.My buddy for the night was Khaye (another AB Broadcasting student), whom I fondly call Kaykay, who knows who FCC is, who can do America’s Next Top Model poses with me, and whom I can caress chests with (checking for cancer signs) and visit thrift shops with (still on recession period).We are very sorry for the shitfaces.Copyright: All photos are not mine. I can’t take photos properly. Credits go to Mr. C. Angel, D. Mones, A.L. Reyes, T.A. Lerit, F.M. Angeles and Photomagic Booth.
Unnecessary updates
I can’t write a decent blog entry right now because I’m so busy the unwanted hairs are all over. The Society had been preparing and writing so much for the reproduction of the school bulletin,
RCS Chronicle, their hands are already bleeding. As the secretary, I’m expected to make the monthly activity report of the Society and also write for the paper. My brain is literally drying –
dryingggg. When my English runs short, I try to stop and read a little – it gives me ideas and reminds me that I’m doing what I’m doing because I want to be a journalist/writer. These are just little tasks for building big steps for the palace called My Ambition in Life. I’m also quite busy being the secretary (again) of the Rotaract Club. It’s a hard life but I regret nothing, serious to God.
I can do this. We can do this.
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a woeful & chaotic diary since 071409
