March: In a Nutshell
Congratulations to me: I survived another semester without finding myself checked in an asylum; I finished
Wintergirls (which I thought I wouldn’t be able to); and I’m now making my March Nutshell! Such big accomplishments I have!
March was crazy. The school requirements made me hopeless, tired and easily frustrated. But thank God I survived everything and left school without a hanging obligation. I’m glad everything’s over, and I just hope my grades won’t fall apart. (I need a scholarship grant.) Weird thing, though: I’m actually excited to go back to school this June because there’s just a lot to look forward to. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I want to do something and not just rot in here for the rest of the summer. Maybe I have slight ADHD – oh, my Zeus! I may be a demigod – an old rotten, past-the-age demigod.
MARCH ARCHIVES
A Nutcase
Monday, March 04, 2013
Since I wasn’t able to write my February Nutshell, I instead made a shorter version of it (and I don’t know why I posted it on March): a Nutcase. So remember:
Nutshell is the longer and acceptable summary of my month; a
Nutcase is, well, the opposite. I’m not sure if you should read it because it kind of lame (screw “kind of” – it
is lame), but if you’re so obsessed with my lame life, then go ahead. One click is free; the second, you’d need to pass through my obstacles (dragons, spikes and crazy zombies – nasty stuff).
Fading Fangirl
Sunday, March 10, 2013
I’ve been a fan of Sam Concepcion for almost seven years now. I started to go googly eyes over him before I even hit teenage-hood (not sure if this is a word). I was so obsessed with him that I proudly avow that I’m obsessed with him. But right now, my fangirl love for him is slowly decreasing, waning, faltering. Why? Well, let’s see: 1) He’s getting older; 2) I’m getting older; 3) He’s dating, but 4) I can’t hate who he’s dating because I really adore this girl; and 5) It’s pathetic to be affected by something or someone who never really had a connection with you to begin with. Maybe you would relate to it, maybe you wouldn’t. But if you do, please leave a comment! (Shameless plug, darling.)
Eruditions
Friday, March 22, 2013
No, not a
Divergent-related blog post (although I miss
Divergent like crazy). This is a post dedicated to my brain, the things I learned in a few weeks and the fulfillment I possessed after acknowledging those lessons. I can’t say anything more about this because it’s basically a rant machine about our production team; my graduating friends; and the unacceptable feelings I have for a person, feelings so ridiculous and inappropriate that even Aphrodite recoils at the idea.
Toasted
Thursday, March 28, 2013
One: This weather is officially included in my This is Ridiculous list. Well, it
is ridiculous. It’s so hot that a solid butter can easily melt after five seconds under the sun. I’m literally toasted to my bones. Anyway,
Toasted lists the things I’m planning and not planning to do this summer. Two: I am officially a lame no-lifer. This also serve as a medium to declare that summer isn’t my favorite season in the world, despite the free time it gives. (My favorites are Spring and Autumn. At least those are my favorites, if only our country have them.)
HALLELUIAH CATHARTIC
“There is no magic cure, no making it all go away forever. There are only small steps upward; an easier day, an unexpected laugh, a mirror that doesn’t matter anymore.” ©
Wintergirls, Laurie Halse Anderson
LOONY DRAGONSLAYER
As expected, I didn’t get to read a lot this month, unlike how I did last year (ten novels in a month!). This may be because I don’t have a goal of completing my reads list or something. In my 2013 Goodreads Reading Challenge, I’m only targeting at least twenty reads. I’m still far from it. Imagine if I’m still reading like crazy like what I did before, I would’ve finished twenty novels in two months. Wow, I just not realized how such a dork I am.
March Reads:
Wintergirls by L.H. Anderson (2/5 stars; this was hard to read because of the author’s chosen format, but I find it sad – and alarming; it was good, but I still think
The Best Little Girl in the World [Steven Levenkron] is better);
The Mark of Athena by Rick Riordan (5/5 stars; as usual, Mr. Riordan just killed me with his Leo Valdez and PercyBeth and that freakin’ cliffhanger);
The Power of Six by Pittacus Lore (3/5 stars; the ever-changing POVs got me confused for a moment, I guess Mr. Lore or whatever-his-real-name-is should’ve labeled every chapter with the current POV’s name like what Mr. Riordan does with
Heroes of Olympus).
Current Read:
The Rise of Nine by P. Lore. (And I hope after I finish
The Lorien Legacy, I’ll figure out where the heck Pittacus Lore is dwelling, given that he’s still alive – nerd alert, nerd alert!)
FAVORITE PHOTO/GIF
This photo shows that: 1) I really do have broad shoulders; 2) I have bad posture; and 3) I can’t fix my hair to save my life (that green ribbon was a representation of our team). This was taken by my friend Shenna Geronimo during March 24’s Rotaract District 3800 Sports – Peace (aka Pala-Rotaract). It was our first time to participate in Pala-Rotaract, and I’m glad that we finally did. It was tiring and we definitely stunk like legit, but it was fun. Thank God my stomach cooperated with me throughout the day or I could’ve stalked out earlier than expected and missed all the fun. Till next time then.
EARGASM
AND CONFETTI
Except for the fact that I had survived school and Colton Dixon finally performed in the
American Idol stage as a legit recording artist (as expected, my ovaries were ruined), I now know how to take pictures. (What the heck. That accomplishment would totally save the world from its current wretchedness, thank you very much.) I’m definitely not a pro yet, but at least I can take pictures and post them publicly. Practice makes perfect anyway.
APRIL ACTIVITY LIST
- Make butterbeer with friends
- Read
- Read
- Read
- The Host, darn it
- …
- …
I guess that’s it then. Lamesauce.
You guys be awesome this summer while I make my brain cry with all these reading. Let’s all be toasted!
Toasted
Summer.
Three months of sun, free time, procrastination and being broke. For others, summer is heaven, even though it feels like hell. No school, no homework, all the time to catch up with
The Carrie Diaries and/or
Adventure Time (what a combination). No demanding professors, no alarm clocks, and no requirement to wear that itchy and hideous uniform. Summer is fun! Summer is what everyone needs! Summer is the best thing that has ever happened to the universe (next to sodas)!
Not really. Not at all. Not for me. (Yep, this is the cue for my unyielding egotistic posts. It’s about me from this point on.)
For starters, I’m
not fond of summers. Toasting under the sun without some butter is not my kind of fun. This weather is my least favorite one. Yes, I’m that kind of student who almost always wishes that school’s out and vacation’s in, but in the end, I’d always pick a day when I have something to do. I’d rather go to school and face Statistics than wake up every morning and check out what’s on TV. (And okay, I’d rather see my crush in school than just stare at his Facebook profile like it’ll magically speak to me.) I’d rather face the day with the goal of impressing my professors and finishing today’s crossword puzzle than face nothing at all. Basically, for me, Summer = 0 work = 0 fun.
How about visiting beaches/resorts? And what, get sunburned and suffer all summer long? No, thanks. I have a low melanin count, and my past experiences with the salty water-and-sun combination taught me to stay away from them as much as possible. When I was younger, I’d go crazy over beaches and sand and waves (and that illusionary blue color of the pool), but that changed when I got stung by a jellyfish and then suffered sunburn that my nose looked like Rudolf’s. It’s so hard to get my natural skin color back, so I basically banned swimming in my Summer Fun Activities list. And if you ask me, I’d rather go hiking or foresting (not sure of this word). I learned to like trees and the greeneries better. Or maybe we can go to historical sites and feed our brain with something more useful. Once, my mom made a proposal to go to Boracay. My initial reaction: what, no! Let’s go to Vigan or maybe just roam around Cebu. Not that I’m degrading Boracay or anything (I think it’s first class), but people clad in their bikinis with their visible tan lines isn’t my most favorite sight in the world. And besides, Boracay is packed right now. How can I enjoy it when I couldn’t move freely without bumping into people’s boobs or accidentally touching their butts? Let’s just please visit Vigan and rent a
kalesa or eat
longganisa or something. (Disclaimer: I’m not un-promoting Boracay. You should go visit if you want to. Don’t let my words discourage you.)
What about friends, catching up, small reunions? Screw this. You know that thing with planning with friends? It
never happens. You catch up and talk and decide to meet this summer with the rest of the gang, and you get all excited and plan what to wear, and when summer comes, everyone is either out of town or too busy to be bothered.
Poof, that precious plan just v-a-nished. Some things feel so much better when done unplanned. I know we have this “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail”, but geez, doesn’t it feel better when you just bump into someone you know in the mall or on the streets, and then all of a sudden it’s a reunion? (Although, I recommend that you always look good so you wouldn’t look wasted/wrecked in your tagged photos.) And anyway, if I feel like catching up with them, I’d need to miss them first. I don’t. I don’t miss them yet; it’s still too early for that stuff. Hello, guys, I don’t miss you. (I’m such a good friend, don’t you think?)
So if you don’t like beaches and reunions, what hell do you do in three months? Nothing. Maybe a little movie marathons and my epically lame creative art works, a lot of reading, and some more reading. I’m a dork this way. I’m a dork in school, and I’m a dork outside school. Anyway, this summer, if I can find some job that suits me, I’ll do it. If my best friend and I ever come into making butterbeers, I’ll blog about it. I want to see friends that I actually miss. I’ll finish
The Lorien Legacy (Pittacus Lore) and also maybe
The Maze Runner (James Dashner). I want to live in Fully Booked for one whole day. I’ll be active in our church’s Media Ministry and vote for the May Senatorial Elections. That looks like a good summer to me (although nothing looks better than Cody Simpson’s summers).
Anyway, I have my summer and you have your summer and I hope everyone’s going to have their dream summer, so happy summer! (I think I used “summer” too much.)
Eruditions
One word:
Fulfilling.
It is fulfilling to be able to finish something for the common good. It is fulfilling to make an almost impossible thing
possible. It is fulfilling to vent out what shortcomings others have and not feel guilty about it (not a good thing, I guess). It is fulfilling to edit, edit, edit and edit, and render, render, render and render for hundreds and thousands of hours. It is fulfilling to make new friends. It is fulfilling to be friendly when you’re not very friendly in nature. It is fulfilling to prove that first impressions don’t actually last. It is fulfilling to find Weird Crush and still be cool around him like your ovaries aren’t thrashing like crazy (I’m so pathetic). It is fulfilling to spend your last hours with your seniors in the most fun way possible. It is fulfilling to welcome the summer without a suspending incomplete case in school. It is fulfilling to survive school. It is fulfilling to survive school
and (hopefully) have honors.
I’m so happy. It’s scary, I know, but I’m so happy. I’m so happy and relieved that, finally,
Rise and Shine has reached its production schedule with an acceptable output. I’m so excited that this semester is over and I’m still whole and alive and not eaten by a hairy monster. Yes, I’m not denying that I’ve reached my Patience Limit and almost gave up this fight, but I’m glad that I didn’t and, hey, look where it got me!
I’ve learned a lot from our
Rise and Shine experience, especially about effective teamwork and working harmoniously with others. I had the chance to know in what field my team members were good at, which will help me and everyone else to be more productive next time. Trusting is still a sensitive matter with me, but at least I know who to and not to trust with crucial projects and tasks. I know it’s not a good practice and that I should make “Everybody deserves a second chance” my personal mantra, but I just can’t. My academic status is important to me (just as how steles are important to Shadowhunters), so I can’t just easily let others penetrate through and semi-manipulate it. I’ve also learned that I have this tendency to put the blame on others – this taught me to work alone so I can only blame
myself.
I’m not bitter. I just want a fair system and let others be merited for their work equally. I’m not insinuating that I’m a perfect human being and the creamiest one from the dullest collection of the cream of the crop (no, no, no, and did I mention no?). I just want to play clean and fair. I know life isn’t fair, but I hope education is. (Oh crap, I am such a
bitch.)
I’m so happy yet also sad. My friends are leaving for the bigger world of stressful bosses and sleepless nights (how inspiring), and I will miss them badly. The first friends I made when I was a transferee were my seniors, and it’s weird because I was never the person who can mingle with the loudest bunch in the party, but I did and was able to. I love my seniors. They may be so noisy and swear like a pissed off jail guard, but I love them still. I didn’t get to spend a lot of time with them since I’ll forever be an irregular (both academically and biologically), but I know that they’re good people and they’ll be successful in whatever paths they choose to take after college and they’ll treat me to Starbucks when they get their – no, not first – fifth paycheck. I will miss them. And even though I still want to spend more time with them, just like what I’ve been saying to my friend Meanne, I’d rather
not see them again in school than see them
still in school (because this means that they didn’t get to graduate). I’d rather be sad than disappointed. Congratulations and good luck, batch 2013!
And then there’s Weird Crush. I don’t freakin’ care, but I like him. I shouldn’t have a crush on him and not infest my brain with malice, but I don’t give a damn. I have a crush on him. I like how real, witty, candid, observant, artistic, annoying, demanding and awfully and wonderfully weird he is. I don’t know what will happen with this feeling during the doggy lame days of summer – maybe it’ll grow, maybe it’ll evaporate – but right now I’ll just cherish (“cherish” gives me the willies) this and be happy but not flirty and still be smart.
Thank God this semester is over. Hi, summer! Oh, summer, what will I do with you now?
P.S.: I love the word “erudition”. It reminds me so much of
Divergent and Caleb Prior.
Fading Fangirl
This is the latest photo (intended to be blurred) I have with Sam Concepcion, taken last October 17, 2010, during his 18th birthday bash. And that was more than two years and four months.
If today is 2011 and you ask me if I miss him… yes, I really do (with tears). If today is 2012 and you ask me if I want to see him… yes, I do (with an ache). Today, 2013, if you ask me if I’m bawling my eyes out because I haven’t seen him for centuries… no, I’m not. Honestly, I’m not at all upset about it. My eyes are dry and my pulse is normal.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me, or what seemed to escape from me as time passed, but I’m not the same fangirl I used to be. I used to join Sam’s text clan and be happily updated about his schedule like the stalker I was. If I could, I came to his mall shows and yearned for him like the scary lover I was. I watched all his shows and go all depressed every time I missed one like the addict I was. But now, I just don’t care. I don’t bother burrowing my nose in his life and be defensive when his detractors pour shit on him. Not that I don’t like/love/admire him anymore, it’s just that (1) I’m currently very busy that the interests that make my heart happy are left alone in the dark corner. I just don’t have the time to go googly-eyes over him. I don’t have time to
read, so how can I have time for executing my fangirl superpowers?
(2) My
taste (taste – what the hell) for guys is ever-changing. This month I like Colton Dixon, the next I like Austin Butler, the next I like a band, etc. I have too many celebrity crushes that their names wouldn’t fit in one, oversized notebook. What’s weird is that, because the names are piling higher and higher, I can’t remember who I do and don’t like. I mean, when this month I like Hot Celebrity A, and after a few weeks of gushing over him, I find Hot Celebrity B and forget about Hot Celebrity A. A few months later, I come across Hot Celebrity A again and experience this weird recollection saying I used to gaga over him, like “It rings a bell!” Either I get all disgusted at myself or I like him all over again. I am such a flirt! My Hot Celebrities are treated like files in my computer: I can always restore them from the trusty Recycle Bin, unless I shift-deleted them. I am such a bitch!
And another thing: (3) I think I’m losing my fangirl powers because I’m starting to have real crushes (meaning guys who I can talk to personally). When I didn’t have crushes before, I used to torment Sam with my ridiculous daydreaming that every fangirl in the world guiltily does. I wanted to date him, and I wanted him to want to date me. These are truly scary thoughts, but since I get real butterflies from real guys already, daydreaming about Sam feels like betrayal against my crush/es. A glowing neon sign always pops up and heatedly flashes the words “infidelity, infidelity!” straight to my face. So nope, I’m sorry, Sam. (This is embarrassing, no?)
This is not something I’m proud of, but I also think that I’m losing my feelings for Sam because (4) he’s starting to date famous girls already. Before, when his dating Coleen Garcia was just a rumor, it was okay with us. They didn’t admit it anyway, but of course, we all have this “fan radar” – we know if they truly dated or not (and I believe they did; they were once teased about it). So the Sam-Coleen rumor was okay. But then he
really started dating and actually admitted it! Now, his girl’s name is Jasmine Curtis-Smith. We’re just not sure if they are already an item or if he’s still courting her (fan radar says the former). I don’t know why, but it
hurts. It’s so freakin’ ridiculous. What hurts more is the fact that I cannot hate Jasmine because she’s so sweet, and we once had this exchange of tweets about John Green’s
Looking for Alaska, and I really like her! So I guess I will just hate myself for absurdly being hurt. And okay, I admit: I am now officially
fanzoned. Meh.
Aah, Sam Concepcion, do not be melancholic. I still love you. You will forever be my first Hot Celebrity Super Crush. I just believe we need some time away from each other. Look at this as a cooling off phase for the both of us. It will be for the best, and anyway, don’t fret: I won’t shift-delete you. You will always have a place in my Local Disk memory. (What the hell is this?!)
A Nutcase
Hello, first quarter of 2013! Hello, March! And after a few weeks, hello, summer!
Yes, it’s already March, and the semester is coming to its close. (I can’t believe it myself.) It’s already March and I still haven’t made my February Nutshell. (This, I
can believe.) I’m so busy to the point that even thinking of wanting to procrastinate is unreasonable. I’m so busy that I shouldn’t actually blog but I just needed to because it makes me sad not to write. The month of February had given me a truck of eye bags that are sizes too big for my eyes, weeks of strain and unlady-like smells, and a glorious moment with this awesome person. But, just like always, I am grateful – which means,
tada!, my roughly written, roughly enumerated February Nutshell:
I didn’t get to read a lot because of my school works. I’ve only finished two:
Five Flavors of Dumb by Anthony John (3/5 stars) and
Beautiful Creatures by Margaret Stohl and Kami Garcia (1/5 stars). I didn’t like
BC because the story was too slow and the characters were too slapdash for my taste (meaning Tris Prior and Luna Lovegood standard); I only tried reading it because of its movie adaptation, which, yes, I haven’t seen yet (need I explain why?).
I saw Colton Dixon my darling my love in person. Easily one of the best moments in my 2013, I got to see him in the flesh last
February 12 for his intimate fans day. People were supposed to get his album to actually meet him, but I didn’t because I’m such a diehard fan (meh). Even though I didn’t get to talk to or smell him or touch his hair or something, I sure am grateful that it didn’t become an epic failure like September’s.
I joined our church’s Media Ministry. Our local priest always reminds us to offer our talents in spreading the Good Word and expanding the influence of the church. I don’t have any majestic talent, so I figured I could use my love for writing and the things I learn as a Broadcasting student in strengthening my faith. (I hope I become very active in this field.)
Mumford and Sons and “Babel” won at the Grammys. I haven’t actually heard all of MAS’s songs, but I listened to “Little Lion Man” and “Winter Winds” and they’re amazing. I’m so happy for the group even though I’m not one of their most loyal and most enthusiastic fans.
My best friend and I saw Warm Bodies. Which was cute but has a lame story. I’ve read the novel and it was really lame but R and Julie was a cute couple and the lead actors in the movie (Nicholas Hoult, Teresa Palmer and Dave freakin’ Franco) were so hot they had burned every lame element in the story. (I’m so lame for repeatedly using the word “lame”.)
I’ve lost half and a quarter of my feelings for Great Crush. And geez, I’m so proud of myself. I hope they wouldn’t come back when I see him in the near future. (Me = gross. I pity the guys I liked and currently like. Such unfortunate kids.)
But then I found Weird Crush. And geez, I should brutally mutilate and/or kill myself. (
Read more? No.) I remember this scene from the movie
Bridesmaids: the main character thinks she’s crazy for running away when she already feel something real for a person (which, in my opinion, isn’t crazy at all) – that’s me. No, I haven’t felt something “real” yet for Weird Crush, but I had decided to take a head start before I find myself in awkward situations and call myself crazy.
Legally Blonde was amazing. Even though we didn’t win in the end, the experience (performing in front of the student body like I was talented and a veteran), the memories (legit rehearsals like our lives depended on it) and the sweat we had shed (I think I might have lost weight, and of course I’m a liar) were enough to make us feel like we brought home the bacon and the cheese and the eggs. “I feel so much better than before!”
Halleluiah Cathartic: “Enjoy every version of yourself you ever meet, because not everybody who discovers their true identity likes what they find.” ©
FFOD, A. John
Currents (this month):
Current Read:
Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson (which I will probably finish on April, hell)
Current Eargasm: The Lumineers, Neon Trees and Vampire Weekend
Current Reason/s To Not Procrastinate: Rise and Shine (our morning show, where I’m the Executive Producer slash Master Editor slash All-around Aide) deadline; semester finals; my first job as our Society’s President (Farewell Toast for our Seniors)
Current Favorite Person:
Angela Miller of
American Idol 12 (she’s just so amazing, and the fact that she
sang Colton’s “Never Gone” doesn’t hurt at all, thank you)
Thing/s I Look Forward To: Finishing every school work I have;
The Host movie; slumber at Mary Ann
Aah, happy March! (I’m so tired my blogging capacity is hitting bottom – my
grammar, everyone.)
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a woeful & chaotic diary since 071409
March: In a Nutshell
Congratulations to me: I survived another semester without finding myself checked in an asylum; I finished
Wintergirls (which I thought I wouldn’t be able to); and I’m now making my March Nutshell! Such big accomplishments I have!
March was crazy. The school requirements made me hopeless, tired and easily frustrated. But thank God I survived everything and left school without a hanging obligation. I’m glad everything’s over, and I just hope my grades won’t fall apart. (I need a scholarship grant.) Weird thing, though: I’m actually excited to go back to school this June because there’s just a lot to look forward to. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I want to do something and not just rot in here for the rest of the summer. Maybe I have slight ADHD – oh, my Zeus! I may be a demigod – an old rotten, past-the-age demigod.
MARCH ARCHIVES
A Nutcase
Monday, March 04, 2013
Since I wasn’t able to write my February Nutshell, I instead made a shorter version of it (and I don’t know why I posted it on March): a Nutcase. So remember:
Nutshell is the longer and acceptable summary of my month; a
Nutcase is, well, the opposite. I’m not sure if you should read it because it kind of lame (screw “kind of” – it
is lame), but if you’re so obsessed with my lame life, then go ahead. One click is free; the second, you’d need to pass through my obstacles (dragons, spikes and crazy zombies – nasty stuff).
Fading Fangirl
Sunday, March 10, 2013
I’ve been a fan of Sam Concepcion for almost seven years now. I started to go googly eyes over him before I even hit teenage-hood (not sure if this is a word). I was so obsessed with him that I proudly avow that I’m obsessed with him. But right now, my fangirl love for him is slowly decreasing, waning, faltering. Why? Well, let’s see: 1) He’s getting older; 2) I’m getting older; 3) He’s dating, but 4) I can’t hate who he’s dating because I really adore this girl; and 5) It’s pathetic to be affected by something or someone who never really had a connection with you to begin with. Maybe you would relate to it, maybe you wouldn’t. But if you do, please leave a comment! (Shameless plug, darling.)
Eruditions
Friday, March 22, 2013
No, not a
Divergent-related blog post (although I miss
Divergent like crazy). This is a post dedicated to my brain, the things I learned in a few weeks and the fulfillment I possessed after acknowledging those lessons. I can’t say anything more about this because it’s basically a rant machine about our production team; my graduating friends; and the unacceptable feelings I have for a person, feelings so ridiculous and inappropriate that even Aphrodite recoils at the idea.
Toasted
Thursday, March 28, 2013
One: This weather is officially included in my This is Ridiculous list. Well, it
is ridiculous. It’s so hot that a solid butter can easily melt after five seconds under the sun. I’m literally toasted to my bones. Anyway,
Toasted lists the things I’m planning and not planning to do this summer. Two: I am officially a lame no-lifer. This also serve as a medium to declare that summer isn’t my favorite season in the world, despite the free time it gives. (My favorites are Spring and Autumn. At least those are my favorites, if only our country have them.)
HALLELUIAH CATHARTIC
“There is no magic cure, no making it all go away forever. There are only small steps upward; an easier day, an unexpected laugh, a mirror that doesn’t matter anymore.” ©
Wintergirls, Laurie Halse Anderson
LOONY DRAGONSLAYER
As expected, I didn’t get to read a lot this month, unlike how I did last year (ten novels in a month!). This may be because I don’t have a goal of completing my reads list or something. In my 2013 Goodreads Reading Challenge, I’m only targeting at least twenty reads. I’m still far from it. Imagine if I’m still reading like crazy like what I did before, I would’ve finished twenty novels in two months. Wow, I just not realized how such a dork I am.
March Reads:
Wintergirls by L.H. Anderson (2/5 stars; this was hard to read because of the author’s chosen format, but I find it sad – and alarming; it was good, but I still think
The Best Little Girl in the World [Steven Levenkron] is better);
The Mark of Athena by Rick Riordan (5/5 stars; as usual, Mr. Riordan just killed me with his Leo Valdez and PercyBeth and that freakin’ cliffhanger);
The Power of Six by Pittacus Lore (3/5 stars; the ever-changing POVs got me confused for a moment, I guess Mr. Lore or whatever-his-real-name-is should’ve labeled every chapter with the current POV’s name like what Mr. Riordan does with
Heroes of Olympus).
Current Read:
The Rise of Nine by P. Lore. (And I hope after I finish
The Lorien Legacy, I’ll figure out where the heck Pittacus Lore is dwelling, given that he’s still alive – nerd alert, nerd alert!)
FAVORITE PHOTO/GIF
This photo shows that: 1) I really do have broad shoulders; 2) I have bad posture; and 3) I can’t fix my hair to save my life (that green ribbon was a representation of our team). This was taken by my friend Shenna Geronimo during March 24’s Rotaract District 3800 Sports – Peace (aka Pala-Rotaract). It was our first time to participate in Pala-Rotaract, and I’m glad that we finally did. It was tiring and we definitely stunk like legit, but it was fun. Thank God my stomach cooperated with me throughout the day or I could’ve stalked out earlier than expected and missed all the fun. Till next time then.
EARGASM
AND CONFETTI
Except for the fact that I had survived school and Colton Dixon finally performed in the
American Idol stage as a legit recording artist (as expected, my ovaries were ruined), I now know how to take pictures. (What the heck. That accomplishment would totally save the world from its current wretchedness, thank you very much.) I’m definitely not a pro yet, but at least I can take pictures and post them publicly. Practice makes perfect anyway.
APRIL ACTIVITY LIST
- Make butterbeer with friends
- Read
- Read
- Read
- The Host, darn it
- …
- …
I guess that’s it then. Lamesauce.
You guys be awesome this summer while I make my brain cry with all these reading. Let’s all be toasted!
Toasted
Summer.
Three months of sun, free time, procrastination and being broke. For others, summer is heaven, even though it feels like hell. No school, no homework, all the time to catch up with
The Carrie Diaries and/or
Adventure Time (what a combination). No demanding professors, no alarm clocks, and no requirement to wear that itchy and hideous uniform. Summer is fun! Summer is what everyone needs! Summer is the best thing that has ever happened to the universe (next to sodas)!
Not really. Not at all. Not for me. (Yep, this is the cue for my unyielding egotistic posts. It’s about me from this point on.)
For starters, I’m
not fond of summers. Toasting under the sun without some butter is not my kind of fun. This weather is my least favorite one. Yes, I’m that kind of student who almost always wishes that school’s out and vacation’s in, but in the end, I’d always pick a day when I have something to do. I’d rather go to school and face Statistics than wake up every morning and check out what’s on TV. (And okay, I’d rather see my crush in school than just stare at his Facebook profile like it’ll magically speak to me.) I’d rather face the day with the goal of impressing my professors and finishing today’s crossword puzzle than face nothing at all. Basically, for me, Summer = 0 work = 0 fun.
How about visiting beaches/resorts? And what, get sunburned and suffer all summer long? No, thanks. I have a low melanin count, and my past experiences with the salty water-and-sun combination taught me to stay away from them as much as possible. When I was younger, I’d go crazy over beaches and sand and waves (and that illusionary blue color of the pool), but that changed when I got stung by a jellyfish and then suffered sunburn that my nose looked like Rudolf’s. It’s so hard to get my natural skin color back, so I basically banned swimming in my Summer Fun Activities list. And if you ask me, I’d rather go hiking or foresting (not sure of this word). I learned to like trees and the greeneries better. Or maybe we can go to historical sites and feed our brain with something more useful. Once, my mom made a proposal to go to Boracay. My initial reaction: what, no! Let’s go to Vigan or maybe just roam around Cebu. Not that I’m degrading Boracay or anything (I think it’s first class), but people clad in their bikinis with their visible tan lines isn’t my most favorite sight in the world. And besides, Boracay is packed right now. How can I enjoy it when I couldn’t move freely without bumping into people’s boobs or accidentally touching their butts? Let’s just please visit Vigan and rent a
kalesa or eat
longganisa or something. (Disclaimer: I’m not un-promoting Boracay. You should go visit if you want to. Don’t let my words discourage you.)
What about friends, catching up, small reunions? Screw this. You know that thing with planning with friends? It
never happens. You catch up and talk and decide to meet this summer with the rest of the gang, and you get all excited and plan what to wear, and when summer comes, everyone is either out of town or too busy to be bothered.
Poof, that precious plan just v-a-nished. Some things feel so much better when done unplanned. I know we have this “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail”, but geez, doesn’t it feel better when you just bump into someone you know in the mall or on the streets, and then all of a sudden it’s a reunion? (Although, I recommend that you always look good so you wouldn’t look wasted/wrecked in your tagged photos.) And anyway, if I feel like catching up with them, I’d need to miss them first. I don’t. I don’t miss them yet; it’s still too early for that stuff. Hello, guys, I don’t miss you. (I’m such a good friend, don’t you think?)
So if you don’t like beaches and reunions, what hell do you do in three months? Nothing. Maybe a little movie marathons and my epically lame creative art works, a lot of reading, and some more reading. I’m a dork this way. I’m a dork in school, and I’m a dork outside school. Anyway, this summer, if I can find some job that suits me, I’ll do it. If my best friend and I ever come into making butterbeers, I’ll blog about it. I want to see friends that I actually miss. I’ll finish
The Lorien Legacy (Pittacus Lore) and also maybe
The Maze Runner (James Dashner). I want to live in Fully Booked for one whole day. I’ll be active in our church’s Media Ministry and vote for the May Senatorial Elections. That looks like a good summer to me (although nothing looks better than Cody Simpson’s summers).
Anyway, I have my summer and you have your summer and I hope everyone’s going to have their dream summer, so happy summer! (I think I used “summer” too much.)
Eruditions
One word:
Fulfilling.
It is fulfilling to be able to finish something for the common good. It is fulfilling to make an almost impossible thing
possible. It is fulfilling to vent out what shortcomings others have and not feel guilty about it (not a good thing, I guess). It is fulfilling to edit, edit, edit and edit, and render, render, render and render for hundreds and thousands of hours. It is fulfilling to make new friends. It is fulfilling to be friendly when you’re not very friendly in nature. It is fulfilling to prove that first impressions don’t actually last. It is fulfilling to find Weird Crush and still be cool around him like your ovaries aren’t thrashing like crazy (I’m so pathetic). It is fulfilling to spend your last hours with your seniors in the most fun way possible. It is fulfilling to welcome the summer without a suspending incomplete case in school. It is fulfilling to survive school. It is fulfilling to survive school
and (hopefully) have honors.
I’m so happy. It’s scary, I know, but I’m so happy. I’m so happy and relieved that, finally,
Rise and Shine has reached its production schedule with an acceptable output. I’m so excited that this semester is over and I’m still whole and alive and not eaten by a hairy monster. Yes, I’m not denying that I’ve reached my Patience Limit and almost gave up this fight, but I’m glad that I didn’t and, hey, look where it got me!
I’ve learned a lot from our
Rise and Shine experience, especially about effective teamwork and working harmoniously with others. I had the chance to know in what field my team members were good at, which will help me and everyone else to be more productive next time. Trusting is still a sensitive matter with me, but at least I know who to and not to trust with crucial projects and tasks. I know it’s not a good practice and that I should make “Everybody deserves a second chance” my personal mantra, but I just can’t. My academic status is important to me (just as how steles are important to Shadowhunters), so I can’t just easily let others penetrate through and semi-manipulate it. I’ve also learned that I have this tendency to put the blame on others – this taught me to work alone so I can only blame
myself.
I’m not bitter. I just want a fair system and let others be merited for their work equally. I’m not insinuating that I’m a perfect human being and the creamiest one from the dullest collection of the cream of the crop (no, no, no, and did I mention no?). I just want to play clean and fair. I know life isn’t fair, but I hope education is. (Oh crap, I am such a
bitch.)
I’m so happy yet also sad. My friends are leaving for the bigger world of stressful bosses and sleepless nights (how inspiring), and I will miss them badly. The first friends I made when I was a transferee were my seniors, and it’s weird because I was never the person who can mingle with the loudest bunch in the party, but I did and was able to. I love my seniors. They may be so noisy and swear like a pissed off jail guard, but I love them still. I didn’t get to spend a lot of time with them since I’ll forever be an irregular (both academically and biologically), but I know that they’re good people and they’ll be successful in whatever paths they choose to take after college and they’ll treat me to Starbucks when they get their – no, not first – fifth paycheck. I will miss them. And even though I still want to spend more time with them, just like what I’ve been saying to my friend Meanne, I’d rather
not see them again in school than see them
still in school (because this means that they didn’t get to graduate). I’d rather be sad than disappointed. Congratulations and good luck, batch 2013!
And then there’s Weird Crush. I don’t freakin’ care, but I like him. I shouldn’t have a crush on him and not infest my brain with malice, but I don’t give a damn. I have a crush on him. I like how real, witty, candid, observant, artistic, annoying, demanding and awfully and wonderfully weird he is. I don’t know what will happen with this feeling during the doggy lame days of summer – maybe it’ll grow, maybe it’ll evaporate – but right now I’ll just cherish (“cherish” gives me the willies) this and be happy but not flirty and still be smart.
Thank God this semester is over. Hi, summer! Oh, summer, what will I do with you now?
P.S.: I love the word “erudition”. It reminds me so much of
Divergent and Caleb Prior.
Fading Fangirl
This is the latest photo (intended to be blurred) I have with Sam Concepcion, taken last October 17, 2010, during his 18th birthday bash. And that was more than two years and four months.
If today is 2011 and you ask me if I miss him… yes, I really do (with tears). If today is 2012 and you ask me if I want to see him… yes, I do (with an ache). Today, 2013, if you ask me if I’m bawling my eyes out because I haven’t seen him for centuries… no, I’m not. Honestly, I’m not at all upset about it. My eyes are dry and my pulse is normal.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me, or what seemed to escape from me as time passed, but I’m not the same fangirl I used to be. I used to join Sam’s text clan and be happily updated about his schedule like the stalker I was. If I could, I came to his mall shows and yearned for him like the scary lover I was. I watched all his shows and go all depressed every time I missed one like the addict I was. But now, I just don’t care. I don’t bother burrowing my nose in his life and be defensive when his detractors pour shit on him. Not that I don’t like/love/admire him anymore, it’s just that (1) I’m currently very busy that the interests that make my heart happy are left alone in the dark corner. I just don’t have the time to go googly-eyes over him. I don’t have time to
read, so how can I have time for executing my fangirl superpowers?
(2) My
taste (taste – what the hell) for guys is ever-changing. This month I like Colton Dixon, the next I like Austin Butler, the next I like a band, etc. I have too many celebrity crushes that their names wouldn’t fit in one, oversized notebook. What’s weird is that, because the names are piling higher and higher, I can’t remember who I do and don’t like. I mean, when this month I like Hot Celebrity A, and after a few weeks of gushing over him, I find Hot Celebrity B and forget about Hot Celebrity A. A few months later, I come across Hot Celebrity A again and experience this weird recollection saying I used to gaga over him, like “It rings a bell!” Either I get all disgusted at myself or I like him all over again. I am such a flirt! My Hot Celebrities are treated like files in my computer: I can always restore them from the trusty Recycle Bin, unless I shift-deleted them. I am such a bitch!
And another thing: (3) I think I’m losing my fangirl powers because I’m starting to have real crushes (meaning guys who I can talk to personally). When I didn’t have crushes before, I used to torment Sam with my ridiculous daydreaming that every fangirl in the world guiltily does. I wanted to date him, and I wanted him to want to date me. These are truly scary thoughts, but since I get real butterflies from real guys already, daydreaming about Sam feels like betrayal against my crush/es. A glowing neon sign always pops up and heatedly flashes the words “infidelity, infidelity!” straight to my face. So nope, I’m sorry, Sam. (This is embarrassing, no?)
This is not something I’m proud of, but I also think that I’m losing my feelings for Sam because (4) he’s starting to date famous girls already. Before, when his dating Coleen Garcia was just a rumor, it was okay with us. They didn’t admit it anyway, but of course, we all have this “fan radar” – we know if they truly dated or not (and I believe they did; they were once teased about it). So the Sam-Coleen rumor was okay. But then he
really started dating and actually admitted it! Now, his girl’s name is Jasmine Curtis-Smith. We’re just not sure if they are already an item or if he’s still courting her (fan radar says the former). I don’t know why, but it
hurts. It’s so freakin’ ridiculous. What hurts more is the fact that I cannot hate Jasmine because she’s so sweet, and we once had this exchange of tweets about John Green’s
Looking for Alaska, and I really like her! So I guess I will just hate myself for absurdly being hurt. And okay, I admit: I am now officially
fanzoned. Meh.
Aah, Sam Concepcion, do not be melancholic. I still love you. You will forever be my first Hot Celebrity Super Crush. I just believe we need some time away from each other. Look at this as a cooling off phase for the both of us. It will be for the best, and anyway, don’t fret: I won’t shift-delete you. You will always have a place in my Local Disk memory. (What the hell is this?!)
A Nutcase
Hello, first quarter of 2013! Hello, March! And after a few weeks, hello, summer!
Yes, it’s already March, and the semester is coming to its close. (I can’t believe it myself.) It’s already March and I still haven’t made my February Nutshell. (This, I
can believe.) I’m so busy to the point that even thinking of wanting to procrastinate is unreasonable. I’m so busy that I shouldn’t actually blog but I just needed to because it makes me sad not to write. The month of February had given me a truck of eye bags that are sizes too big for my eyes, weeks of strain and unlady-like smells, and a glorious moment with this awesome person. But, just like always, I am grateful – which means,
tada!, my roughly written, roughly enumerated February Nutshell:
I didn’t get to read a lot because of my school works. I’ve only finished two:
Five Flavors of Dumb by Anthony John (3/5 stars) and
Beautiful Creatures by Margaret Stohl and Kami Garcia (1/5 stars). I didn’t like
BC because the story was too slow and the characters were too slapdash for my taste (meaning Tris Prior and Luna Lovegood standard); I only tried reading it because of its movie adaptation, which, yes, I haven’t seen yet (need I explain why?).
I saw Colton Dixon my darling my love in person. Easily one of the best moments in my 2013, I got to see him in the flesh last
February 12 for his intimate fans day. People were supposed to get his album to actually meet him, but I didn’t because I’m such a diehard fan (meh). Even though I didn’t get to talk to or smell him or touch his hair or something, I sure am grateful that it didn’t become an epic failure like September’s.
I joined our church’s Media Ministry. Our local priest always reminds us to offer our talents in spreading the Good Word and expanding the influence of the church. I don’t have any majestic talent, so I figured I could use my love for writing and the things I learn as a Broadcasting student in strengthening my faith. (I hope I become very active in this field.)
Mumford and Sons and “Babel” won at the Grammys. I haven’t actually heard all of MAS’s songs, but I listened to “Little Lion Man” and “Winter Winds” and they’re amazing. I’m so happy for the group even though I’m not one of their most loyal and most enthusiastic fans.
My best friend and I saw Warm Bodies. Which was cute but has a lame story. I’ve read the novel and it was really lame but R and Julie was a cute couple and the lead actors in the movie (Nicholas Hoult, Teresa Palmer and Dave freakin’ Franco) were so hot they had burned every lame element in the story. (I’m so lame for repeatedly using the word “lame”.)
I’ve lost half and a quarter of my feelings for Great Crush. And geez, I’m so proud of myself. I hope they wouldn’t come back when I see him in the near future. (Me = gross. I pity the guys I liked and currently like. Such unfortunate kids.)
But then I found Weird Crush. And geez, I should brutally mutilate and/or kill myself. (
Read more? No.) I remember this scene from the movie
Bridesmaids: the main character thinks she’s crazy for running away when she already feel something real for a person (which, in my opinion, isn’t crazy at all) – that’s me. No, I haven’t felt something “real” yet for Weird Crush, but I had decided to take a head start before I find myself in awkward situations and call myself crazy.
Legally Blonde was amazing. Even though we didn’t win in the end, the experience (performing in front of the student body like I was talented and a veteran), the memories (legit rehearsals like our lives depended on it) and the sweat we had shed (I think I might have lost weight, and of course I’m a liar) were enough to make us feel like we brought home the bacon and the cheese and the eggs. “I feel so much better than before!”
Halleluiah Cathartic: “Enjoy every version of yourself you ever meet, because not everybody who discovers their true identity likes what they find.” ©
FFOD, A. John
Currents (this month):
Current Read:
Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson (which I will probably finish on April, hell)
Current Eargasm: The Lumineers, Neon Trees and Vampire Weekend
Current Reason/s To Not Procrastinate: Rise and Shine (our morning show, where I’m the Executive Producer slash Master Editor slash All-around Aide) deadline; semester finals; my first job as our Society’s President (Farewell Toast for our Seniors)
Current Favorite Person:
Angela Miller of
American Idol 12 (she’s just so amazing, and the fact that she
sang Colton’s “Never Gone” doesn’t hurt at all, thank you)
Thing/s I Look Forward To: Finishing every school work I have;
The Host movie; slumber at Mary Ann
Aah, happy March! (I’m so tired my blogging capacity is hitting bottom – my
grammar, everyone.)
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a woeful & chaotic diary since 071409
