Souvenirs Plus Heureux
Five months ago, I entered the school – the new school I’m going to – with shaking feet, painfully pounding heart and the feeling like my words are stuck in my throat. Five months ago, I chose this school which I hadn’t any idea about. It’s not my dream school, barely passing my “perfect school” standard. But I consider the surfacing of this school as one of the miracles of my life, given the fact that it happened in the midst of my “I’m going to be a hermit” depression days. Those were the hopeless times, and this school, together with its friendly green color, was like my own version of Katniss Everdeen’s dandelion: a symbol of hope, an evidence that there are good times after the bad ones.
And for the first time in my college-student life, I don’t have the constant regret of my decisions regarding my academic life and the school I chose. Unlike before – when I always had to convince myself that everything will be all right and that I could make my decisions work – I don’t have the desire to leave my new school and quit my major. Finally, I decided on something that I really want, something that I know I’ll continue pursuing, something that would make me kill cockroaches if ever they try to take it away from me. Something that is the real me, something I need. Not that I hate my old school, but I just think I’m better off in the new one.
Contributing in my happiness pit are the memories I made in my new school with my new friends, recorded in the new photos I have.
Taken December 9, 2011, Performance Studio, Broadcast Advertising class
Broadcast Advertising, under Professor Melissa Capistrano, was one of my favorite classes last semester. It was hard – all the creativity needed, high expectations, and leading to the campaign we executed – but heck, it was fun. Here, we got to be free and say everything we wanted to say (be it a complaint or some classy swears). And our classes were always cut short, which was
totally fine with me.
Taken December 14, 2011, People’s Television
People’s Television, or PTV, is the direct affiliate network of our school, given that one of our professors is its Executive Producer. We were asked to visit the set of their morning news/talk show, plainly called “The Morning Show”. There we met its news anchors (which names I stupidly forgot), the Production and Technical crew. We also visited the radio departments where we learned a thing or two about radio programs and productions. And, true to my nature, everything the people from PTV said were accidentally forgotten,
poof, vanished in my memory.
Taken January 24, 2011, TV 5, Wil Time BigTime set
This is DJ Coki, the very disk jock that makes
Wil Time BigTime livelier than what the show-without-music can offer. I needed to interview him for my project. And oh, dibs to my mother’s childhood friend slash radio news anchor
Niña Taduran for making this possible. Surprisingly, it wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be. He wasn’t intimidating at all. He was friendly and a good conversationalist. And no, guys, I neither asked for his number nor his Facebook account. Why would I?
Taken in between Legally Blonde rehearsals
These are Khaye Villar and Shenna Geronimo, my new friends in my new school. These were secretly taken while we were rehearsing for
Legally Blonde, our entry to the school’s Literary Musical – which
never happened. It was sad that things didn’t fall into places, but these stuff (the funny faces we took and moments we shared) made it less lonely. Now I’m stoked for the next school year’s Literary Musical – which I hope
will happen.
Taken February 8 and 15, 2012, People’s Television
In fulfillment of our final requirement for our Music and Sound Effects class, we needed to interview the network’s Musical Scorer (Mr. Ogie Manansala) and Editor (Randy Directo). I can’t say anything else other than we needed to be up early to fit into their schedule – and that we got into a lot of trouble just to make it work. Bad memories? Nope. The things that happened after the interviews were
better memories to be kept.
Taken February 15, 2012, The Geronimos’ working site
We were supposed to start our filming for our drama presentation, another one of our projects, this day. But since – what – we weren’t ready and we were all flushed because of the blistering heat, filming never happened. And okay, we also didn’t know what to do and where to start. So we just had rehearsals for the lines and planning and planning. After that, we ate. With our hands, using banana leaves as plates. It was the best! The food was very simple but, geez, we devoured it like were horses. We had eggs. Which were awesome. And I learned that they were fresh eggs from ducks (I guess). More awesome. Then we just had to be vain for one second – okay, two – and took photos like we were America’s next top models.
Taken March 16, 2012, Performance Studio, Boodle Fight
Boodle Fight. Food. From Freshmen to Seniors, united by food. More food. Eat and Run. More food. Bloated.
Taken March 21, 2012, Bahay ng Alumni, Farewell Toast
To celebrate the four gruesome years spent in the school by the Seniors, they were given a Farewell party/toast. I haven’t any idea why such event is needed. To thank the Seniors for their contribution to the school? To remind them of the years they took to finish their major? To give them the chance to deliver speeches? Whatever the reasons are, all I appreciated in this event was the food. I’m sorry.
I’m really grateful for all the five months’ worth of memories I had in this school. And for the next several months, I hope and pray that I will make better and more colorful of them.
Third Freedom
One of the issues in our complicated world today is the surfacing of the Third Sex. Gay people. LGBT. Unicorns. I don’t ever think it’s an issue, really. Third Sex isn’t abnormal – it’s as natural as people being social animals. It’s not their fault that they were born genetically different from straight people. And another thing that I don’t understand is the discrimination they get from the religious and/or conservative sectors, constantly pointing out that gays weren’t inscribed in the Bible and that they don’t have a place in the Kingdom, that it’s a bad thing, that somehow it’s considered as immoral or a sin. Like, seriously? I don’t understand. I don’t
ever understand. But then I don’t really understand them in the first place.
I won’t be a hypocrite and say that I’m their number one supporter and that I have a shirt that says “Team Gay All The Way” and flaunt it around our neighborhood, because I’m not and I don’t. Confession time: 1) I also once look secretly at them from head to foot and then back again, and form malicious and totally-discriminating thoughts about them inside my head. And it always makes me feel bad every time, a bad hunting feeling. I always feel bad that I once thought that they look weird and dress weirder and talk weirdest. 2) I got scared of them (and some of them until now), because it felt like if they look at me, they could kill me; if they talk about me, I would kill myself. They are the most honest people walking in this world, so honest to the point of being frank. With no holds barred. And with a fragile confidence like mine, if they say something negative-but-true about me, I would rather lock myself in my room and die and decay there, than continue living with a completely zero percent of buoyancy.
But if I could go back in those times and start all over again, respect them more and not think of what I used to think of them, I would. In a heartbeat. No questions asked. But then I would need to start high school and experience awkward things again (which will be a nightmare), and I don’t have a time machine anyway (since I’m neither Phineas nor Ferb). So maybe, if I can’t redo my past actions, I might as well rethink about the present and future ones.
I
definitely should, since my friends are taking that trodden way. I feel so guilty that I still think of undesirable thoughts every time I remember their true gender preferences. I think about it and then still can’t believe everything – and worse, blurt out detrimental adjectives about them. I haven’t told them about my feelings regarding this matter because: 1) I assume – heck, screw that – I am
sure they won’t like it, and 2) we’d have big, bitter trust issues, which 3) will stain our crystal clear friendship, which 4) we don’t ever wish to happen. I always keep in mind that these things are normal – friends who need to out themselves and are then outing to me – and that there is nothing wrong with being and acting what they really are. I always keep in mind that they’re outing to me because they trust me. And they have me in the upper part of their “Most Awesome People List” so they feel that they’re obliged to have cheesy heart-to-heart talks with me (which I should treasure since trust comes as frequently as rain comes in a desert country). I hope I’d be able to overcome this dangerous dubiousness and discriminating opinions. They are my friends, and it doesn’t matter if the boys like the boys and the girls like the girls. As long as they are happy and not faking it, who am I to judge them?
“Being in a relationship, that’s something you choose. Being friends, that’s just something you are.”
© Tiny Cooper, “Will Grayson, Will Grayson” (John Green and David Levithan)
So what do I think of the Third Sex? I freaking think they’re freaking amazing –
amazing, meaning as amazing as true gays like Elton John, Ellen DeGeneres, Adam Lambert and my new hero/heroine, Tiny Cooper. I’ve read about Tiny in this novel,
Will Grayson, Will Grayson, written by no less than John Green (with David Levithan as a co-writer). The story surprisingly talked about gay people, gay-dating, gay musicals, gay friends, gay Tiny Cooper (plus the straight Will Grayson and the gay Will Grayson). And it’s a good novel. It teaches a lot about them and how they feel, and it made me understand them more (and falling, and Schrödinger’s cats, and learn some pretty swear words along the way).
But who gives a damn, really? It’s their choice. It’s their life. It’s where they are truly happy. It’s the fulfillment of their whole contentment. It’s their source of freedom. Why would we ruin something that makes them whole? If we think – selfishly think – that they are immoral, unacceptable and intolerable as a part of our society, what we do with them – thinking what we think about them, judging how we judge them – doesn’t that make us horribly
more immoral than them? Doesn’t that make us even
worse? Quoting the song of the mother of all gay rights, Lady Gaga, “Rejoice and love yourself today, cause baby you were born this way. No matter gay, straight or bi, lesbian, transgendered life, I’m on the right track baby. I was born to survive.”
Who are we to prevent their happiness – and to doubt Lady Gaga?
American Idol Season 11
For four seasons, I’ve been able to keep track and make biased judgements and predictions involving the contestants of the longest running (please check if this is true, thanks) singing contest on live television,
American Idol. I’ve started getting hooked with this show ever since... well, ever since David Archuleta opened his mouth and sang for the then judges,
Simon Cowell and
Paula Abdul, and the still standing judge,
Randy Jackson. I cannot actually
not watch the show because my mom is such a fan, so I just learned to watch and listen to the contestants. I deadpanned at first, but gradually, the show crawled to my heart and Archie crawled to my dreams.
And now I’m on my fifth season. For the past seasons, my early favorites barely made it to Top 12/13 (e.g.
Alex Lambert, season 9), got eliminated halfway of the competition (e.g.
Siobhan Magnus, season 9;
Paul McDonald and
Casey Abrams, season 10), or was just a shy away from winning the title (e.g.
David Archuleta, season 7;
Adam Lambert, season 8). But this year, season 11, majority of my favorites all made it to the live shows (Top 24) and Top 13! How freakin’ shipwreck cool is that?!
I do not own any of this photos. These are all from
americanidol.com. I am only responsible for the editing.
Colton Dixon. (
x) Because he’s so cool, and his voice is my type of voice for males: husky, with some growls from time to time, definitely suited for serious bands. Colton wasn’t actually someone I was looking forward to audition again (he almost made it to the live shows last year; he lost the spot to the apple guy with the hair). I didn’t even remember to wish that he’d be back to give it another shot. I just remembered him when the show kindly played back the moment he was eliminated. Such twist of fate he had! (For those who doesn’t know the story behind it: he actually didn’t want to audition this year and just wanted to support her sister,
Schyler, but the judges forced him to sing – he
sang David Cook’s “Permanent” – and, because of his undeniable talent, he got the unplanned golden ticket – with Schyler, too – to Hollywood). And alas, he was that guy! He
is that guy who can sing and play the piano and has the guts to sing a Paramore song.
I also like Colton because: 1) his hair is awesome; 2) he’s such a sweet big brother to his sister; 3) he deserves the twist his fate had; 4) he can rock an all-black ensemble without being labeled as a psychotic assassin in the night; 5) oh, have you seen his eyes?; 6) he’s really talented and can play baseball and hockey but 7) he can’t dance, but 8) I still find it cute. I hope he wins this thing, but if he doesn’t, I hope he’d be as successful as that awesome skinhead named Daughtry. But still, I hope he’ll
win.
Jessica Sanchez. (
x) Because she’s still so young but her voice is a giant. And, okay, because I tend to support every Filipino in every talent show abroad. But really, she’s good. She can perform, like,
really perform, with the twists and looks and all. She’s a diva – and I meant the good diva. And when she gets good stuff and comments from the judges, she’d always giggle like a kid. If I have a voice like hers, I won’t ever be humble.
What, I’m a bad diva.
Joshua Ledet. (
x) Because, why not? I don’t actually like the genre of his voice: choir-like, high pitched, a male version of Aretha Franklin (kindly check this one also), but geez, he’s just so good he gives me goosebumps. And his reactions are weird when he gets a standing ovation or a “best thing I’ve seen on
Idol” rave from the judges: he’s always like, “Oh, my God”, followed by an is-this-really-happening face. Why are these people so
humble that it looks like they aren’t aware of how awesome they are? If he builds a bigger fan base, he could win this thing.
Phillip Phillips. (
x) Because his voice is one of a kind. Because he has this I-don’t-think-I’m-cute-but-a-lot-of-girls-like-me look. And have you seen his dancing every time he sings an upbeat song? I’m not sure if it’s really dancing, but when he moves his shoulder like freakin’ broken waves, followed by some stomping of his feet, with the awkward look on his face, he looks like he’s possessed by a monster with an exceptional singing chops. And it’s adorable. I strangely find it cute. I also like him because he could pass as
Joseph Morgan’s (Klaus Mikaelson of
The Vampire Diaries) little brother.
Hollie Cavanagh. (
x) Because she’s so tiny, but her voice is figuratively bigger than her. Because she reminds me of Kristen Stewart (whom I adore) during her
Panic Room days. I didn’t actually notice her during the auditions and the pre-live show days; the only person I knew whose name sounded like “Holi” or “Hali” was
Hallie Day (who could
forget that name, really?), the girl who looks like
Claire Holt (Rebekah Mikaelson of
The Vampire Diaries – oh, the influence the vampires have on me). I only took notice of her when she made it to Top 13 and Hallie didn’t. She looks adorable with that blonde hair and little kid smile. And she has an accent, have you noticed? She will make it far, just like everyone on my list (I’m
not bias!).
Heejun Han. (
x) I don’t actually know why he’s here. Umm, because he’s Asian? Because my brother likes him and he’d kill me if I won’t like him too? Because he’s the ultimate underdog with the goofy face and funny photographs? Because he always makes a move with pretty girls and even asked for Fergie’s number? Because he finds all the girls – and even guys – pretty that he started asking what food they eat from where they come from? Because he’s just so funny he makes
American Idol livelier (like how it was with Simon Cowell)? Or because he looks lame but when he sings he’s superb? All of the above, please.
Elise Testone. (
x) Because I want to have a singing voice like hers (if God won’t give me
Demi Lovato’s or
Alison Sudol’s or
Haley Williams’). She’s good, really. I just hope she’d have a bigger fan base so she won’t always be in the Bottom Three every week. Her talent deserves more.
Jeremy Rosado. (
x) Yes, yes. I know he’s already been eliminated (first performance for Top 13), but I still can’t forget him and his I-wanna-just-listen-to-him-and-sigh voice. I didn’t really like him during the pre-live show days. Yes, I noticed him before; he was always group mates with the early favorites. But, goodness, when he
sang Sara Bareilles’ “Gravity”, who is Jeremy Rosato?! His popularity level just shot 90% up on my list. Too bad he was already eliminated. Oh, JerBear, be back next season and melt everyone’s hearts again, okay?
I don’t have a lot of favorites this season, unlike before (I almost made my own Top 13). Maybe this list will grow, but I hope it won’t ever get short. Have a good
Idol season!
Sardonic Twists
Something’s wrong with me. A
lot of things are wrong with me. I don’t know why I’m – artistically – degrading myself right now. I should feel good. I should be optimistic. I should be confident about myself. But I just can’t at the moment. Screw myself.
Even writing a good post for this blog is taking a long and a hard time for me. I don’t feel good, really. I want to be happy. I was happy last night, drinking, singing like nobody’s listening when all the time there were people around me, not being the usual me but apparently acting what I
truly am inside. Maybe this is one of the effects of the awesome novel I just finished reading. Now I’m gradually becoming happy, a smile creeping on the side of my mouth, waiting only for that one special idea and feeling to be able to smile completely and wide enough to show my big teeth and pink gums.
Apparently, books make me happy. Right now, my happiness level just shot up 25% after writing the words, “the awesome novel I just finished reading”. And thinking about that book shot another 5% of happiness. The book, for my curious readers, is entitled
Paper Towns, written by officially-one-of-my-favorite-authors
John Green. I might be writing a review about it (I hope this will happen). It’s such a good and funny book that I had the always-occurring feeling of jumping inside the pages (like what Harry Potter did with Tom Riddle’s diary – geez, Lord Voldemort had a
diary) and becoming one of Quentin Jacobsen’s friends. Thinking about it now, I’m already mentally creating my IM username that is as funny as theirs, and deciding if I should join their wearing-nothing-but-togas-on-graduation diabolical plan.
And now another 5% shot up. Wow, this is good. Maybe after this post and after hearing mass, my happiness level will be completely full. This is
really good, knowing that in just thirty minutes, I can shift my mood from an opposite side to another. But it will be better if I can at least write something worthy of reading and learning.
Anyway, I saw this ad in
Philippine Daily Inquirer once. It’s about their staff needing student writers, photographers and artists for this summer. It was such a good idea that I automatically turned on the secret ninja inside me and tried to not show that I was ripping off that particular page from the library’s newspaper. I always do that – secretly ripping off pages – every time I read something good from the news. I’ve learned that we can’t do it, that it wasn’t allowed, but I did. I was careful enough not to make any tearing noise and show that I was suddenly pocketing a page from nowhere. I was also careful to not leave any debris from the page where I made the ripping (geez, “the ripping” doesn’t sound good). I had first done it when I saw this ad from
Garage Magazine featuring Elmo Magalona and Sam Concepcion. Do I need to say why?
I was so scared when I first did it, but I got the page and wasn’t caught so I did it again. I’m such a motivated kid. The second ripping incident happened because of this interview with A+ Dropouts, Forever the Sickest Kids and The Ready Set for their mall tour,
LIVE 5, alongside other punk-rock bands, The Summer Set (which I love, love, love) and A Rocket to the Moon. I saw them, by the way. But I didn’t have tickets because: 1) I don’t have the moolah for it; and 2) why would I? I watched from a distant but still saw them like they’re so close to me, like standing twenty to thirty feet in front of me (but in my case, I was
way taller than all of them – watching on the second floor), but not close enough to say that they’re sleeping beside me. I didn’t take photos because I’m bad at that career. The following photos are from (
x), (
xo):
Because of excitement, I forgot to write about the
real idea behind the ad for summer student writers (from secretly tearing pages to
LIVE 5 – such turn of events; my attention span: bad). I’m trying my luck. I’m taking a shot. Now I’m scanning Wings for some acceptable works that I can submit to their office. I’m so scared. I’m really nervous about it. I hope I get accepted. I hope I make it before the submission deadline.
This is weird. From being unhappy, to becoming my bookish self, to ripping pages, to
LIVE 5, to summer job, my mood swings are indeed so unpredictable that even a palm and/or fortune reader won’t be able to tell me its future. Now I feel good.
Virtual Babies
I’ve been keeping and harmoniously (right) working with this blog, Diaries of Woes and Chaos, for almost two years and eight months now. Through the fleeting years, I’ve learned to express myself more through writing (and maybe talking a lot) and learned to compose entries with a better grammar and a much more interesting story. I’m grateful to be working with Wingardium – formerly called “DOWAC” (because I’m so
creative I just used the blog name’s initials) – and touching lives that I’m just making up because I have no idea if I ever touch lives. I’m happy that I put up this blog and became one of my comfort zone slash activity (next to reading and sleeping). I don’t have any regrets. I wouldn’t give Wings up for anything, not even for a nice pair of shoes.
I have an undeniable fascination for blogs and writing. And within my two years plus several months as a blogger, I’ve already put up three more blogs that became Wings’ younger sisters (I haven’t practiced family planning). They don’t have biological brothers because boys are rowdy, but they have an adoptive little brother. These blogs also have their own names, and thank goodness, I was more creative with naming them (no more initials).
These are my four babies: Wingardium, Witch, Willow and Wonda (arranged according to their ages).
WINGARDIUM aka WINGS
You can say Wings is the most popular of my babies. Heck, she really is. I’m even writing this down for her. But I try to make sure Wings doesn’t get too proud and boss around her siblings. She’s still as grounded as an earthworm – she still gets uncomfortable and self-conscious when my friends stumble into her. Wings is my personal blog –
personal, meaning this is where I write down my emotions and opinions about several things. You can say that she isn’t a themed blog – just a hasty journal of a silly girl with lots of drama inside her bag.
PS: I can’t write anything more about Wings because I’ve been doing that for two years that even she grew tired of it. And remember: she’s shy.
WITCH
Witch is the most random blog of all my children. Powered by Tumblr, a micro blogging site, she reblogs and likes all sorts of posts ranging from books to The Vampire Diaries. Her first URL was trippinginourhearts, inspired by Justin Bieber’s
Stuck in the Moment. I changed her URL after half a year (because the first one sounded cheesy already) to fayeistheflyest, and eventually named her “Witch”. I chose the name Witch because: 1) this blog is where I also pour the Potterhead inside me; 2) she can fly, and she is the flyest of all; and 3) she’s such a witch (I’m such a nice mother, eh?).
She supports her siblings through linking (posting the link to blog entries) in her blog, promoting them to her 189 followers (which isn’t a lot). Her followers are mostly nerds and bookworms who enjoy her amateur typographies about books. She’s one hell of a wild child – but she still knows the difference of right from wrong, of FTW from WTF; and her favorite gifs are the erupting
ovaries, the
cat reading
Military Strategies and Colton Dixon’s sexy mohawk
dance.
PS: Witch wouldn’t even be born without the marketing powers of my best friend. He introduced me to Tumblr, and thus, made my social networking life more fun.
WILLOW
Her URL was inspired from... me?, and her name from the Whomping Willow found in the vicinities of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Described in the books, the Whomping Willow is a magical tree with thick branches that can knock you dead on the ground, and goes berserk when disturb from her peaceful idling. And also the secret rendezvous of Prongs, Padfoot, Moony and Wormtail (you wouldn’t understand this if you’re not a Potterhead). This somehow describes my blog.
If you check on her, she has only one existing post, “Why Not Try?”. The history of Willow is very simple: I put her up because I needed a new link to this blogging contest I joined in school, and didn’t want to use Wings because it’s embarrassing to direct the judges to my rants haven. I won in that contest, and as a gesture of gratitude (and okay, remembrance), I decided to just keep the blog and officially use it every time I get the chance to join blogging or writing contests again. And just like the very
gentle Whomping Willow, she can only work her virtual neurons again if ever somebody stirred her from her slumber – which will be me, of course. You can say she’s very friendly of a blog (right).
WONDA
The youngest of my babies (the babiest of my babies?), Wonda was born on... wait, she was born just last week. Lately, I’ve been writing down on my journal (
journal, meaning random back pages of randomly selected notebooks) my weird dreams about foreign celebrities and Voldemort killing me. They are just so bizarre that it pains me not to share them to you. I tried posting them here (
x,
xo), but the dreams come like waves in my nights. I badly needed to blog about them, but I didn’t want to do it in Wings because it’s quite redundant already and because I didn’t want her [Wings] to become my dream outlet. So I decided to put up another blog. I actually had a hard time making her because my original choice of URL, weirdlywonderful (inspired by my lifetime description,
weird and wonderful), was so popular even a Korean guy uses it. After several tries, I settled with weirdlyyywonderful (weirdly-wonderful is also taken. FML).
The first batch of my posts will be a reposting of the dreams I first shared here. And then, after I had decided that a particular dream wouldn’t socially kill me, I will post it in Wonda also. Don’t laugh at me when you read my about my dreams, okay? Dreams are weirdly wonderful after all.
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a woeful & chaotic diary since 071409
Souvenirs Plus Heureux
Five months ago, I entered the school – the new school I’m going to – with shaking feet, painfully pounding heart and the feeling like my words are stuck in my throat. Five months ago, I chose this school which I hadn’t any idea about. It’s not my dream school, barely passing my “perfect school” standard. But I consider the surfacing of this school as one of the miracles of my life, given the fact that it happened in the midst of my “I’m going to be a hermit” depression days. Those were the hopeless times, and this school, together with its friendly green color, was like my own version of Katniss Everdeen’s dandelion: a symbol of hope, an evidence that there are good times after the bad ones.
And for the first time in my college-student life, I don’t have the constant regret of my decisions regarding my academic life and the school I chose. Unlike before – when I always had to convince myself that everything will be all right and that I could make my decisions work – I don’t have the desire to leave my new school and quit my major. Finally, I decided on something that I really want, something that I know I’ll continue pursuing, something that would make me kill cockroaches if ever they try to take it away from me. Something that is the real me, something I need. Not that I hate my old school, but I just think I’m better off in the new one.
Contributing in my happiness pit are the memories I made in my new school with my new friends, recorded in the new photos I have.
Taken December 9, 2011, Performance Studio, Broadcast Advertising class
Broadcast Advertising, under Professor Melissa Capistrano, was one of my favorite classes last semester. It was hard – all the creativity needed, high expectations, and leading to the campaign we executed – but heck, it was fun. Here, we got to be free and say everything we wanted to say (be it a complaint or some classy swears). And our classes were always cut short, which was
totally fine with me.
Taken December 14, 2011, People’s Television
People’s Television, or PTV, is the direct affiliate network of our school, given that one of our professors is its Executive Producer. We were asked to visit the set of their morning news/talk show, plainly called “The Morning Show”. There we met its news anchors (which names I stupidly forgot), the Production and Technical crew. We also visited the radio departments where we learned a thing or two about radio programs and productions. And, true to my nature, everything the people from PTV said were accidentally forgotten,
poof, vanished in my memory.
Taken January 24, 2011, TV 5, Wil Time BigTime set
This is DJ Coki, the very disk jock that makes
Wil Time BigTime livelier than what the show-without-music can offer. I needed to interview him for my project. And oh, dibs to my mother’s childhood friend slash radio news anchor
Niña Taduran for making this possible. Surprisingly, it wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be. He wasn’t intimidating at all. He was friendly and a good conversationalist. And no, guys, I neither asked for his number nor his Facebook account. Why would I?
Taken in between Legally Blonde rehearsals
These are Khaye Villar and Shenna Geronimo, my new friends in my new school. These were secretly taken while we were rehearsing for
Legally Blonde, our entry to the school’s Literary Musical – which
never happened. It was sad that things didn’t fall into places, but these stuff (the funny faces we took and moments we shared) made it less lonely. Now I’m stoked for the next school year’s Literary Musical – which I hope
will happen.
Taken February 8 and 15, 2012, People’s Television
In fulfillment of our final requirement for our Music and Sound Effects class, we needed to interview the network’s Musical Scorer (Mr. Ogie Manansala) and Editor (Randy Directo). I can’t say anything else other than we needed to be up early to fit into their schedule – and that we got into a lot of trouble just to make it work. Bad memories? Nope. The things that happened after the interviews were
better memories to be kept.
Taken February 15, 2012, The Geronimos’ working site
We were supposed to start our filming for our drama presentation, another one of our projects, this day. But since – what – we weren’t ready and we were all flushed because of the blistering heat, filming never happened. And okay, we also didn’t know what to do and where to start. So we just had rehearsals for the lines and planning and planning. After that, we ate. With our hands, using banana leaves as plates. It was the best! The food was very simple but, geez, we devoured it like were horses. We had eggs. Which were awesome. And I learned that they were fresh eggs from ducks (I guess). More awesome. Then we just had to be vain for one second – okay, two – and took photos like we were America’s next top models.
Taken March 16, 2012, Performance Studio, Boodle Fight
Boodle Fight. Food. From Freshmen to Seniors, united by food. More food. Eat and Run. More food. Bloated.
Taken March 21, 2012, Bahay ng Alumni, Farewell Toast
To celebrate the four gruesome years spent in the school by the Seniors, they were given a Farewell party/toast. I haven’t any idea why such event is needed. To thank the Seniors for their contribution to the school? To remind them of the years they took to finish their major? To give them the chance to deliver speeches? Whatever the reasons are, all I appreciated in this event was the food. I’m sorry.
I’m really grateful for all the five months’ worth of memories I had in this school. And for the next several months, I hope and pray that I will make better and more colorful of them.
Third Freedom
One of the issues in our complicated world today is the surfacing of the Third Sex. Gay people. LGBT. Unicorns. I don’t ever think it’s an issue, really. Third Sex isn’t abnormal – it’s as natural as people being social animals. It’s not their fault that they were born genetically different from straight people. And another thing that I don’t understand is the discrimination they get from the religious and/or conservative sectors, constantly pointing out that gays weren’t inscribed in the Bible and that they don’t have a place in the Kingdom, that it’s a bad thing, that somehow it’s considered as immoral or a sin. Like, seriously? I don’t understand. I don’t
ever understand. But then I don’t really understand them in the first place.
I won’t be a hypocrite and say that I’m their number one supporter and that I have a shirt that says “Team Gay All The Way” and flaunt it around our neighborhood, because I’m not and I don’t. Confession time: 1) I also once look secretly at them from head to foot and then back again, and form malicious and totally-discriminating thoughts about them inside my head. And it always makes me feel bad every time, a bad hunting feeling. I always feel bad that I once thought that they look weird and dress weirder and talk weirdest. 2) I got scared of them (and some of them until now), because it felt like if they look at me, they could kill me; if they talk about me, I would kill myself. They are the most honest people walking in this world, so honest to the point of being frank. With no holds barred. And with a fragile confidence like mine, if they say something negative-but-true about me, I would rather lock myself in my room and die and decay there, than continue living with a completely zero percent of buoyancy.
But if I could go back in those times and start all over again, respect them more and not think of what I used to think of them, I would. In a heartbeat. No questions asked. But then I would need to start high school and experience awkward things again (which will be a nightmare), and I don’t have a time machine anyway (since I’m neither Phineas nor Ferb). So maybe, if I can’t redo my past actions, I might as well rethink about the present and future ones.
I
definitely should, since my friends are taking that trodden way. I feel so guilty that I still think of undesirable thoughts every time I remember their true gender preferences. I think about it and then still can’t believe everything – and worse, blurt out detrimental adjectives about them. I haven’t told them about my feelings regarding this matter because: 1) I assume – heck, screw that – I am
sure they won’t like it, and 2) we’d have big, bitter trust issues, which 3) will stain our crystal clear friendship, which 4) we don’t ever wish to happen. I always keep in mind that these things are normal – friends who need to out themselves and are then outing to me – and that there is nothing wrong with being and acting what they really are. I always keep in mind that they’re outing to me because they trust me. And they have me in the upper part of their “Most Awesome People List” so they feel that they’re obliged to have cheesy heart-to-heart talks with me (which I should treasure since trust comes as frequently as rain comes in a desert country). I hope I’d be able to overcome this dangerous dubiousness and discriminating opinions. They are my friends, and it doesn’t matter if the boys like the boys and the girls like the girls. As long as they are happy and not faking it, who am I to judge them?
“Being in a relationship, that’s something you choose. Being friends, that’s just something you are.”
© Tiny Cooper, “Will Grayson, Will Grayson” (John Green and David Levithan)
So what do I think of the Third Sex? I freaking think they’re freaking amazing –
amazing, meaning as amazing as true gays like Elton John, Ellen DeGeneres, Adam Lambert and my new hero/heroine, Tiny Cooper. I’ve read about Tiny in this novel,
Will Grayson, Will Grayson, written by no less than John Green (with David Levithan as a co-writer). The story surprisingly talked about gay people, gay-dating, gay musicals, gay friends, gay Tiny Cooper (plus the straight Will Grayson and the gay Will Grayson). And it’s a good novel. It teaches a lot about them and how they feel, and it made me understand them more (and falling, and Schrödinger’s cats, and learn some pretty swear words along the way).
But who gives a damn, really? It’s their choice. It’s their life. It’s where they are truly happy. It’s the fulfillment of their whole contentment. It’s their source of freedom. Why would we ruin something that makes them whole? If we think – selfishly think – that they are immoral, unacceptable and intolerable as a part of our society, what we do with them – thinking what we think about them, judging how we judge them – doesn’t that make us horribly
more immoral than them? Doesn’t that make us even
worse? Quoting the song of the mother of all gay rights, Lady Gaga, “Rejoice and love yourself today, cause baby you were born this way. No matter gay, straight or bi, lesbian, transgendered life, I’m on the right track baby. I was born to survive.”
Who are we to prevent their happiness – and to doubt Lady Gaga?
American Idol Season 11
For four seasons, I’ve been able to keep track and make biased judgements and predictions involving the contestants of the longest running (please check if this is true, thanks) singing contest on live television,
American Idol. I’ve started getting hooked with this show ever since... well, ever since David Archuleta opened his mouth and sang for the then judges,
Simon Cowell and
Paula Abdul, and the still standing judge,
Randy Jackson. I cannot actually
not watch the show because my mom is such a fan, so I just learned to watch and listen to the contestants. I deadpanned at first, but gradually, the show crawled to my heart and Archie crawled to my dreams.
And now I’m on my fifth season. For the past seasons, my early favorites barely made it to Top 12/13 (e.g.
Alex Lambert, season 9), got eliminated halfway of the competition (e.g.
Siobhan Magnus, season 9;
Paul McDonald and
Casey Abrams, season 10), or was just a shy away from winning the title (e.g.
David Archuleta, season 7;
Adam Lambert, season 8). But this year, season 11, majority of my favorites all made it to the live shows (Top 24) and Top 13! How freakin’ shipwreck cool is that?!
I do not own any of this photos. These are all from
americanidol.com. I am only responsible for the editing.
Colton Dixon. (
x) Because he’s so cool, and his voice is my type of voice for males: husky, with some growls from time to time, definitely suited for serious bands. Colton wasn’t actually someone I was looking forward to audition again (he almost made it to the live shows last year; he lost the spot to the apple guy with the hair). I didn’t even remember to wish that he’d be back to give it another shot. I just remembered him when the show kindly played back the moment he was eliminated. Such twist of fate he had! (For those who doesn’t know the story behind it: he actually didn’t want to audition this year and just wanted to support her sister,
Schyler, but the judges forced him to sing – he
sang David Cook’s “Permanent” – and, because of his undeniable talent, he got the unplanned golden ticket – with Schyler, too – to Hollywood). And alas, he was that guy! He
is that guy who can sing and play the piano and has the guts to sing a Paramore song.
I also like Colton because: 1) his hair is awesome; 2) he’s such a sweet big brother to his sister; 3) he deserves the twist his fate had; 4) he can rock an all-black ensemble without being labeled as a psychotic assassin in the night; 5) oh, have you seen his eyes?; 6) he’s really talented and can play baseball and hockey but 7) he can’t dance, but 8) I still find it cute. I hope he wins this thing, but if he doesn’t, I hope he’d be as successful as that awesome skinhead named Daughtry. But still, I hope he’ll
win.
Jessica Sanchez. (
x) Because she’s still so young but her voice is a giant. And, okay, because I tend to support every Filipino in every talent show abroad. But really, she’s good. She can perform, like,
really perform, with the twists and looks and all. She’s a diva – and I meant the good diva. And when she gets good stuff and comments from the judges, she’d always giggle like a kid. If I have a voice like hers, I won’t ever be humble.
What, I’m a bad diva.
Joshua Ledet. (
x) Because, why not? I don’t actually like the genre of his voice: choir-like, high pitched, a male version of Aretha Franklin (kindly check this one also), but geez, he’s just so good he gives me goosebumps. And his reactions are weird when he gets a standing ovation or a “best thing I’ve seen on
Idol” rave from the judges: he’s always like, “Oh, my God”, followed by an is-this-really-happening face. Why are these people so
humble that it looks like they aren’t aware of how awesome they are? If he builds a bigger fan base, he could win this thing.
Phillip Phillips. (
x) Because his voice is one of a kind. Because he has this I-don’t-think-I’m-cute-but-a-lot-of-girls-like-me look. And have you seen his dancing every time he sings an upbeat song? I’m not sure if it’s really dancing, but when he moves his shoulder like freakin’ broken waves, followed by some stomping of his feet, with the awkward look on his face, he looks like he’s possessed by a monster with an exceptional singing chops. And it’s adorable. I strangely find it cute. I also like him because he could pass as
Joseph Morgan’s (Klaus Mikaelson of
The Vampire Diaries) little brother.
Hollie Cavanagh. (
x) Because she’s so tiny, but her voice is figuratively bigger than her. Because she reminds me of Kristen Stewart (whom I adore) during her
Panic Room days. I didn’t actually notice her during the auditions and the pre-live show days; the only person I knew whose name sounded like “Holi” or “Hali” was
Hallie Day (who could
forget that name, really?), the girl who looks like
Claire Holt (Rebekah Mikaelson of
The Vampire Diaries – oh, the influence the vampires have on me). I only took notice of her when she made it to Top 13 and Hallie didn’t. She looks adorable with that blonde hair and little kid smile. And she has an accent, have you noticed? She will make it far, just like everyone on my list (I’m
not bias!).
Heejun Han. (
x) I don’t actually know why he’s here. Umm, because he’s Asian? Because my brother likes him and he’d kill me if I won’t like him too? Because he’s the ultimate underdog with the goofy face and funny photographs? Because he always makes a move with pretty girls and even asked for Fergie’s number? Because he finds all the girls – and even guys – pretty that he started asking what food they eat from where they come from? Because he’s just so funny he makes
American Idol livelier (like how it was with Simon Cowell)? Or because he looks lame but when he sings he’s superb? All of the above, please.
Elise Testone. (
x) Because I want to have a singing voice like hers (if God won’t give me
Demi Lovato’s or
Alison Sudol’s or
Haley Williams’). She’s good, really. I just hope she’d have a bigger fan base so she won’t always be in the Bottom Three every week. Her talent deserves more.
Jeremy Rosado. (
x) Yes, yes. I know he’s already been eliminated (first performance for Top 13), but I still can’t forget him and his I-wanna-just-listen-to-him-and-sigh voice. I didn’t really like him during the pre-live show days. Yes, I noticed him before; he was always group mates with the early favorites. But, goodness, when he
sang Sara Bareilles’ “Gravity”, who is Jeremy Rosato?! His popularity level just shot 90% up on my list. Too bad he was already eliminated. Oh, JerBear, be back next season and melt everyone’s hearts again, okay?
I don’t have a lot of favorites this season, unlike before (I almost made my own Top 13). Maybe this list will grow, but I hope it won’t ever get short. Have a good
Idol season!
Sardonic Twists
Something’s wrong with me. A
lot of things are wrong with me. I don’t know why I’m – artistically – degrading myself right now. I should feel good. I should be optimistic. I should be confident about myself. But I just can’t at the moment. Screw myself.
Even writing a good post for this blog is taking a long and a hard time for me. I don’t feel good, really. I want to be happy. I was happy last night, drinking, singing like nobody’s listening when all the time there were people around me, not being the usual me but apparently acting what I
truly am inside. Maybe this is one of the effects of the awesome novel I just finished reading. Now I’m gradually becoming happy, a smile creeping on the side of my mouth, waiting only for that one special idea and feeling to be able to smile completely and wide enough to show my big teeth and pink gums.
Apparently, books make me happy. Right now, my happiness level just shot up 25% after writing the words, “the awesome novel I just finished reading”. And thinking about that book shot another 5% of happiness. The book, for my curious readers, is entitled
Paper Towns, written by officially-one-of-my-favorite-authors
John Green. I might be writing a review about it (I hope this will happen). It’s such a good and funny book that I had the always-occurring feeling of jumping inside the pages (like what Harry Potter did with Tom Riddle’s diary – geez, Lord Voldemort had a
diary) and becoming one of Quentin Jacobsen’s friends. Thinking about it now, I’m already mentally creating my IM username that is as funny as theirs, and deciding if I should join their wearing-nothing-but-togas-on-graduation diabolical plan.
And now another 5% shot up. Wow, this is good. Maybe after this post and after hearing mass, my happiness level will be completely full. This is
really good, knowing that in just thirty minutes, I can shift my mood from an opposite side to another. But it will be better if I can at least write something worthy of reading and learning.
Anyway, I saw this ad in
Philippine Daily Inquirer once. It’s about their staff needing student writers, photographers and artists for this summer. It was such a good idea that I automatically turned on the secret ninja inside me and tried to not show that I was ripping off that particular page from the library’s newspaper. I always do that – secretly ripping off pages – every time I read something good from the news. I’ve learned that we can’t do it, that it wasn’t allowed, but I did. I was careful enough not to make any tearing noise and show that I was suddenly pocketing a page from nowhere. I was also careful to not leave any debris from the page where I made the ripping (geez, “the ripping” doesn’t sound good). I had first done it when I saw this ad from
Garage Magazine featuring Elmo Magalona and Sam Concepcion. Do I need to say why?
I was so scared when I first did it, but I got the page and wasn’t caught so I did it again. I’m such a motivated kid. The second ripping incident happened because of this interview with A+ Dropouts, Forever the Sickest Kids and The Ready Set for their mall tour,
LIVE 5, alongside other punk-rock bands, The Summer Set (which I love, love, love) and A Rocket to the Moon. I saw them, by the way. But I didn’t have tickets because: 1) I don’t have the moolah for it; and 2) why would I? I watched from a distant but still saw them like they’re so close to me, like standing twenty to thirty feet in front of me (but in my case, I was
way taller than all of them – watching on the second floor), but not close enough to say that they’re sleeping beside me. I didn’t take photos because I’m bad at that career. The following photos are from (
x), (
xo):
Because of excitement, I forgot to write about the
real idea behind the ad for summer student writers (from secretly tearing pages to
LIVE 5 – such turn of events; my attention span: bad). I’m trying my luck. I’m taking a shot. Now I’m scanning Wings for some acceptable works that I can submit to their office. I’m so scared. I’m really nervous about it. I hope I get accepted. I hope I make it before the submission deadline.
This is weird. From being unhappy, to becoming my bookish self, to ripping pages, to
LIVE 5, to summer job, my mood swings are indeed so unpredictable that even a palm and/or fortune reader won’t be able to tell me its future. Now I feel good.
Virtual Babies
I’ve been keeping and harmoniously (right) working with this blog, Diaries of Woes and Chaos, for almost two years and eight months now. Through the fleeting years, I’ve learned to express myself more through writing (and maybe talking a lot) and learned to compose entries with a better grammar and a much more interesting story. I’m grateful to be working with Wingardium – formerly called “DOWAC” (because I’m so
creative I just used the blog name’s initials) – and touching lives that I’m just making up because I have no idea if I ever touch lives. I’m happy that I put up this blog and became one of my comfort zone slash activity (next to reading and sleeping). I don’t have any regrets. I wouldn’t give Wings up for anything, not even for a nice pair of shoes.
I have an undeniable fascination for blogs and writing. And within my two years plus several months as a blogger, I’ve already put up three more blogs that became Wings’ younger sisters (I haven’t practiced family planning). They don’t have biological brothers because boys are rowdy, but they have an adoptive little brother. These blogs also have their own names, and thank goodness, I was more creative with naming them (no more initials).
These are my four babies: Wingardium, Witch, Willow and Wonda (arranged according to their ages).
WINGARDIUM aka WINGS
You can say Wings is the most popular of my babies. Heck, she really is. I’m even writing this down for her. But I try to make sure Wings doesn’t get too proud and boss around her siblings. She’s still as grounded as an earthworm – she still gets uncomfortable and self-conscious when my friends stumble into her. Wings is my personal blog –
personal, meaning this is where I write down my emotions and opinions about several things. You can say that she isn’t a themed blog – just a hasty journal of a silly girl with lots of drama inside her bag.
PS: I can’t write anything more about Wings because I’ve been doing that for two years that even she grew tired of it. And remember: she’s shy.
WITCH
Witch is the most random blog of all my children. Powered by Tumblr, a micro blogging site, she reblogs and likes all sorts of posts ranging from books to The Vampire Diaries. Her first URL was trippinginourhearts, inspired by Justin Bieber’s
Stuck in the Moment. I changed her URL after half a year (because the first one sounded cheesy already) to fayeistheflyest, and eventually named her “Witch”. I chose the name Witch because: 1) this blog is where I also pour the Potterhead inside me; 2) she can fly, and she is the flyest of all; and 3) she’s such a witch (I’m such a nice mother, eh?).
She supports her siblings through linking (posting the link to blog entries) in her blog, promoting them to her 189 followers (which isn’t a lot). Her followers are mostly nerds and bookworms who enjoy her amateur typographies about books. She’s one hell of a wild child – but she still knows the difference of right from wrong, of FTW from WTF; and her favorite gifs are the erupting
ovaries, the
cat reading
Military Strategies and Colton Dixon’s sexy mohawk
dance.
PS: Witch wouldn’t even be born without the marketing powers of my best friend. He introduced me to Tumblr, and thus, made my social networking life more fun.
WILLOW
Her URL was inspired from... me?, and her name from the Whomping Willow found in the vicinities of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Described in the books, the Whomping Willow is a magical tree with thick branches that can knock you dead on the ground, and goes berserk when disturb from her peaceful idling. And also the secret rendezvous of Prongs, Padfoot, Moony and Wormtail (you wouldn’t understand this if you’re not a Potterhead). This somehow describes my blog.
If you check on her, she has only one existing post, “Why Not Try?”. The history of Willow is very simple: I put her up because I needed a new link to this blogging contest I joined in school, and didn’t want to use Wings because it’s embarrassing to direct the judges to my rants haven. I won in that contest, and as a gesture of gratitude (and okay, remembrance), I decided to just keep the blog and officially use it every time I get the chance to join blogging or writing contests again. And just like the very
gentle Whomping Willow, she can only work her virtual neurons again if ever somebody stirred her from her slumber – which will be me, of course. You can say she’s very friendly of a blog (right).
WONDA
The youngest of my babies (the babiest of my babies?), Wonda was born on... wait, she was born just last week. Lately, I’ve been writing down on my journal (
journal, meaning random back pages of randomly selected notebooks) my weird dreams about foreign celebrities and Voldemort killing me. They are just so bizarre that it pains me not to share them to you. I tried posting them here (
x,
xo), but the dreams come like waves in my nights. I badly needed to blog about them, but I didn’t want to do it in Wings because it’s quite redundant already and because I didn’t want her [Wings] to become my dream outlet. So I decided to put up another blog. I actually had a hard time making her because my original choice of URL, weirdlywonderful (inspired by my lifetime description,
weird and wonderful), was so popular even a Korean guy uses it. After several tries, I settled with weirdlyyywonderful (weirdly-wonderful is also taken. FML).
The first batch of my posts will be a reposting of the dreams I first shared here. And then, after I had decided that a particular dream wouldn’t socially kill me, I will post it in Wonda also. Don’t laugh at me when you read my about my dreams, okay? Dreams are weirdly wonderful after all.
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a woeful & chaotic diary since 071409
