011214 Capital Cities MNL
Capital Cities Live in Manila, January 12, 2014, Trinoma Mall
Two words: fucking awesome.
The awesome Fil-Am trumpet-person,
Spencer Ludwig. I wasn't actually sure if he's a dancing trumpet player or a trumpet-playing dancer. Awesome.
I went with my best friend,
Zandro Geral. He first heard a Capital Cities song in a TV ad and was further convinced that they're awesome through - tada! - me. On the other hand, I learned about the band and "In a Tidal Wave of Mystery" in
You, Me and Charlie's survey-box-something.
Finale: Capital Cities performing "Safe and Sound".
Promises (Sort Of)
This 2014, I decided not to make another one of my Bucket List – or my lame attempt at resolutions. Because, really, that shit just didn’t work with me. My so-called “resolutions with a twist” was just my excuse to watch movies, buy books and shoes, and fangirl over awesome human beings. This year, instead of listing down the things I’d want to achieve, I will lay down some promises that I hope would lead somewhere.
And yes, I know promises are meant to be broken – but what the fuck.
This 2014, I promise to be patient with people that get on my nerves. On the last quarter of 2013, I’ve come to the conclusion that I hate people in general. I hate socializing with and befriending people that have attitudes I cannot handle. I don’t like faking things just to be nice to them. I don’t like being nice to people I don’t even regard as my friend. So instead of hating people right away, I promise to be more patient. I promise to not kill them for being brats and irresponsible. I promise to not expect too much from them so I wouldn’t be very disappointed with the possible shortcomings. I promise to trust them wholeheartedly (no, no, no) and let them fly free. (Gosh, this should be replaced with “This 2014, I promise to be less bitchy.”)
I promise to be more creative. I promise to find time to write and/or blog more, to express my feelings and opinions in a creative manner. I promise to take more pictures and preserve more memories with the people that matter. I will try my hardest to find inspiration in everything I do, and use that inspiration to inspire others also. I promise to fill this
Tumblr blog with only beautiful things. I promise to find time to just lie down and soak up the eternal beauty life can give.
I promise to expand my ideas and my listening habits. That sounded wrong, didn’t it? Again: I promise to read more and listen to more music. Sounds a lot better. This year I aimed at reading 25 books, but I’m actually hoping to reach fifty. So far, it isn’t looking good. I also promise to widen the range of music I listen to. I promise to not judge artists and their music right away because of how greasy/gothic/scary they look and of how atrocious their album cover appears. I will give them a chance, I swear on John Lennon’s grave.
I promise to take things lighter – but not the easy-go-lucky way. Taking things easy is not for me, but I guess taking things
lighter will work. I tend to overthink a lot, and I’m sure as hell I will live the rest of my life overthinking. But this year, with the help of some unknown force, I will try to not stress too much and enjoy working every second (without too much procrastination). I know it will be painful, but gosh, I can’t eat stress for breakfast anymore – it is bad for digestion.
I promise to welcome all the feels in my system. I promise to not deny my feelings for a person. But this is not to say that I’d declare to the world my love, with neon signs flashing everywhere. No. My 2014 started with me finally admitting that I’m in love, but I haven’t (I
couldn’t) actually admitted that to the person I’m in love with. But this year I promise to love and hope to be loved back. Reciprocating feelings is a hard and a complicated process, but as what I’ve learned from reading too much, the pain from loving will only make us smarter in taking second chances and developing love to its full potential. (I actually just made that up.) I hope this would be the year that I won’t be so fucking scared of admitting feelings and its outcomes anymore. But really, though, I’m
excessively scared of getting hurt – it’s so pathetic.
This 2014, I decided to stop making monthly nutshells. Just like my Bucket List, my Nutshells didn’t work with me. It was just (again) my excuse to write my shitty book reviews and to list the songs that gave me eargasm. I couldn’t keep up with writing monthly wrap ups. Those nutshells (and nutcases) made me feel like blogging was an obligation rather than a creative outlet. I’m sorry, my dear Nutshell. It was a good eighteen months, but it wasn’t just you and it wasn’t just me – it was the
both of us. Adios.
This year, I promise to be a better person. I promise to be good to myself because I know that the universe wants me to be happy. I’m not entirely sure how I’d do it, but you know, I’d just find my way someday. Preferably within this year.
Cause there’s gotta be something out there. If I fly high enough, I’ll find it somewhere. So I’ll hold my breath till I float away. Maybe I’ll come down someday.
The Summer Set, Someday (Legendary, 2013)
Thanksgiving
Today isn’t actually Thanksgiving, but really, does giving thanks and being grateful have to have a holiday? I believe every day
should be Thanksgiving Day.
God, Jesus Christ, Mother Mary, all holy beings, my family, the stars in the universe, the people who matter, my favorite authors: thank you.
Thank you for yesterday, for today and for tomorrow. Thank you for giving me every second to live and lessen the suckiness of my world. It is truly
hard to live and exist, but I’m grateful that those People Up There think that I’m still worth something and deserve to wake up another day.
Thank you for the happiness. I’ve always been apprehensive when it comes to welcoming happiness – I’m scared of being too happy, because too much glee in one day means awful consequences the next. When I laughed too hard today, that might mean I would cry too hard tomorrow. I guess that’s why I haven’t felt and lived life in its fullest – because I’m too secured, surrounded by too many walls, taking one step forward and two steps back. It’s like I’m dancing to the wrong rhythm. But still, thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for making me happy even though I take as little doses of it as possible.
And then thank you for the sadness. I must be awfully weird for being grateful about the heartaches and miseries, but you know what they say, trials only make people stronger. Thank you for testing me through trials and obstacles, and proving me that facing problems isn’t the end of the world. Thank you for making me smarter and resilient.
Thank you for my family. I know I’m not the best daughter/sister/family member out there – I barely show my appreciation for them, and I’m the resident awkward-member-slash-black-sheep during family dinners, but I’m
really grateful to have them, trust me. Even though our family isn’t perfect, I’m lucky that they are always there to support me, my dreams, my ravings and cravings, my fangirling sessions and my I’m-sexy-and-I-know-it fantasies. It’s nice to know that I can love and also feel loved in return. I love you guys, please remember that.
Thank you for giving me friends that stay. I know I haven’t been too friendly lately, and haven’t reached the right number of friends required for my age, but I really don’t care. I find it ridiculous to have too many friends when I’m sure only a few of them will understand me. I need understanding people in my life, considering my infinitely developing weirdness. I’d rather have a small group of friends that I can be my crazy self with, than a big group that makes me feel awkward and out-of-place. I love you friends.
Thank you for the little things that give me happiness; the authors I wish were my friends; the musicians and their epic music that make me feel young; the books and characters that give me all unnecessary feels; and the people who inspire me to work hard and continue chasing my dreams. Thank you for giving me chances to wander and wonder – these are the moments that open my eyes wider to the beauty of life and the endless possibilities that are waiting for me behind those walls.
Thank you for this little infatuation/budding love I’m feeling for this particularly awesome guy. It sucks that it’s not reciprocated yet, and it sucks more that I’m
not sure if I want it to be reciprocated or not. It sucks that I miss him every day and I’m not sure if he genuinely misses me, too. But despite all that uncalled-for heartaches, I’m grateful that I met him and we’re friends. I’m thankful knowing that this heart of mine still beats for someone and that it’s not too pessimistic to not feel again. I’m happy to know that I can still feel.
Thank you for the opportunities, both the ones that I grabbed and the ones that I missed. Thank you for giving me second chances to correct my mistakes. Thank you for the experiences I have that made me who I am today, be it fabulous or disappointing. Thank you for the recognitions, the hard-work-that-paid-off, the bitch-modes-that-became-fruitful and the moments that made me feel awesome. Thank you for the extremes and its in-betweens. Thank you for making me experience what “epic” is all about.
Thank you for the hope and the strength to carry on, to stand up and move forward.
Thank you for all every breathing second of my every waking day.
2013: In A Nutshell
So, 2013: Everyone’s writing something about 2013 – their experiences, the things they’ve learned, the summary of the year as a whole. Everyone’s writing how their year’s been like. I really have nothing to do so I might as well write my own year review. (I guess this is the sequel to
2012: A In Nutshell.)
Seeing Colton Dixon in person (February). Yes, I did. I wasn’t able to come near him and touch his hair or smell his breath, because I didn’t want to. But the experience was worth it. Dang, he’s glorious. When he came down from the bridge (whatever), he was…
shining. What the fuck, that sounds like what Edward Cullen would look like. (
Read more.)
Hosting Acquaintance Party 2013 (August). One of the tasks as the newly-appointed president of the Liberal Arts Society is to organize and host the school’s acquaintance party for this year. It was a trying task and everything seemed like they’re trying to eat me alive, but thank goodness we were able to pull it off. The feedbacks we got from our schoolmates were so nice I almost cried. Sometimes, bitching around is worth it. (
Read more.)
Books, duh. I said at the start of the year that I’m targeting 20 reads. Guess what? I reached it. Even better: I have 37 reads this year. And 95% of them are
really good. I haven’t read voraciously this year because of my epic juggling of school works and whatnot, but I’m really glad I’ve met characters I love and love to hate, learned lessons and discovered the magic of wandering in a person’s life. So what’s my favorite book this year? Bullshit, that’s like asking what my favorite ice cream flavor is.
Movies to die for. The best movies I’ve seen this year were:
Warm Bodies,
The Host,
City of Bones,
Sea of Monsters and
Catching Fire. I wasn’t able to see every movie I wrote in my bucket list, but thankfully I was able to see some movies I’ve always wanted to see and some I never thought I’d love but did:
Ten Things I Hate About You,
One Day,
Stuck In Love,
Speak,
The Cure,
Pitch Perfect and
Fight Club. One things that changed in me this year was my taste in movies. Before I only go for the fun-to-the-eyes kind and judge it according to the sales it had acquired. Now I don’t give a fuck about sales; I care about production aesthetics and the story line. Independent, Sundance entries, Oscar-worthy films are my thing now.
Albums my ears die for. Besides being a bookworm and a movie buff, the genre of music I listen to has definitely reached a mile long. I’ve discovered Passion Pit, Vampire Weekend, Fun, Mumford and Sons, The Lumineers, Andrew Belle, Capital Cities, etc. My love for Parachute and The Summer Set has reached its peak and will continue to develop until this fangirl feels eat me whole.
Candy Fair 2013. Last 2012, Diana Agulto and I had missed Candy Fair. But the odds were in our favor and our stars had perfectly aligned because we had experienced the sweetest, hottest, fangirl-worthy fair of the year! We had so much fun with the booths, freebies, good looking boys and really, really beautiful girls (they’re so beautiful I wasn’t sure if I was lesbian or just jealous). And the best thing ever: I finally met Ms. Marla Miniano, the current editor-in-chief of
Candy Magazine! We’ve been exchanging tweets and gushing about random things prior to Candy Fair, and so it was a dream come true for me to meet her. (Gosh, I’m such a fangirl.)
Internship at Knowledge Channel. One of the many things I’m really thankful for this year is my internship spot at Knowledge Channel. I love my experiences as an intern so far – it’s one of my means to patching things up with a lost friend named Social Life (although this internship also causes me to lose contact with blogging).
Being in love. I can imagine your face right now: wide eyes and mouth open like a fish. I can ever hear the gears working in your brain. Just to be clear: I’m still single, and will stay that way until, I don’t know, until I get a decent life (when I turn 22, probably). Being in love doesn’t mean I need to have a
boyfriend to kiss and cuddle with. I just like someone long and strong enough for me to admit to myself that I’m already in love. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, my Great Crush is now my Great Love. Congratulations, I’m officially in love with someone I haven’t met in almost two years. And he doesn’t know anything about it – which is really fine by me. We’d probably never be together in the near future, we’d probably stay as plain as friends until we die, but that’s okay. He’ll always be the Great Love I’ll never forget.
Have an awesome 2014 ahead! (The word “awesome” is so awesome.)
← older / top / newer →
a woeful & chaotic diary since 071409
011214 Capital Cities MNL
Capital Cities Live in Manila, January 12, 2014, Trinoma Mall
Two words: fucking awesome.
The awesome Fil-Am trumpet-person,
Spencer Ludwig. I wasn't actually sure if he's a dancing trumpet player or a trumpet-playing dancer. Awesome.
I went with my best friend,
Zandro Geral. He first heard a Capital Cities song in a TV ad and was further convinced that they're awesome through - tada! - me. On the other hand, I learned about the band and "In a Tidal Wave of Mystery" in
You, Me and Charlie's survey-box-something.
Finale: Capital Cities performing "Safe and Sound".
Promises (Sort Of)
This 2014, I decided not to make another one of my Bucket List – or my lame attempt at resolutions. Because, really, that shit just didn’t work with me. My so-called “resolutions with a twist” was just my excuse to watch movies, buy books and shoes, and fangirl over awesome human beings. This year, instead of listing down the things I’d want to achieve, I will lay down some promises that I hope would lead somewhere.
And yes, I know promises are meant to be broken – but what the fuck.
This 2014, I promise to be patient with people that get on my nerves. On the last quarter of 2013, I’ve come to the conclusion that I hate people in general. I hate socializing with and befriending people that have attitudes I cannot handle. I don’t like faking things just to be nice to them. I don’t like being nice to people I don’t even regard as my friend. So instead of hating people right away, I promise to be more patient. I promise to not kill them for being brats and irresponsible. I promise to not expect too much from them so I wouldn’t be very disappointed with the possible shortcomings. I promise to trust them wholeheartedly (no, no, no) and let them fly free. (Gosh, this should be replaced with “This 2014, I promise to be less bitchy.”)
I promise to be more creative. I promise to find time to write and/or blog more, to express my feelings and opinions in a creative manner. I promise to take more pictures and preserve more memories with the people that matter. I will try my hardest to find inspiration in everything I do, and use that inspiration to inspire others also. I promise to fill this
Tumblr blog with only beautiful things. I promise to find time to just lie down and soak up the eternal beauty life can give.
I promise to expand my ideas and my listening habits. That sounded wrong, didn’t it? Again: I promise to read more and listen to more music. Sounds a lot better. This year I aimed at reading 25 books, but I’m actually hoping to reach fifty. So far, it isn’t looking good. I also promise to widen the range of music I listen to. I promise to not judge artists and their music right away because of how greasy/gothic/scary they look and of how atrocious their album cover appears. I will give them a chance, I swear on John Lennon’s grave.
I promise to take things lighter – but not the easy-go-lucky way. Taking things easy is not for me, but I guess taking things
lighter will work. I tend to overthink a lot, and I’m sure as hell I will live the rest of my life overthinking. But this year, with the help of some unknown force, I will try to not stress too much and enjoy working every second (without too much procrastination). I know it will be painful, but gosh, I can’t eat stress for breakfast anymore – it is bad for digestion.
I promise to welcome all the feels in my system. I promise to not deny my feelings for a person. But this is not to say that I’d declare to the world my love, with neon signs flashing everywhere. No. My 2014 started with me finally admitting that I’m in love, but I haven’t (I
couldn’t) actually admitted that to the person I’m in love with. But this year I promise to love and hope to be loved back. Reciprocating feelings is a hard and a complicated process, but as what I’ve learned from reading too much, the pain from loving will only make us smarter in taking second chances and developing love to its full potential. (I actually just made that up.) I hope this would be the year that I won’t be so fucking scared of admitting feelings and its outcomes anymore. But really, though, I’m
excessively scared of getting hurt – it’s so pathetic.
This 2014, I decided to stop making monthly nutshells. Just like my Bucket List, my Nutshells didn’t work with me. It was just (again) my excuse to write my shitty book reviews and to list the songs that gave me eargasm. I couldn’t keep up with writing monthly wrap ups. Those nutshells (and nutcases) made me feel like blogging was an obligation rather than a creative outlet. I’m sorry, my dear Nutshell. It was a good eighteen months, but it wasn’t just you and it wasn’t just me – it was the
both of us. Adios.
This year, I promise to be a better person. I promise to be good to myself because I know that the universe wants me to be happy. I’m not entirely sure how I’d do it, but you know, I’d just find my way someday. Preferably within this year.
Cause there’s gotta be something out there. If I fly high enough, I’ll find it somewhere. So I’ll hold my breath till I float away. Maybe I’ll come down someday.
The Summer Set, Someday (Legendary, 2013)
Thanksgiving
Today isn’t actually Thanksgiving, but really, does giving thanks and being grateful have to have a holiday? I believe every day
should be Thanksgiving Day.
God, Jesus Christ, Mother Mary, all holy beings, my family, the stars in the universe, the people who matter, my favorite authors: thank you.
Thank you for yesterday, for today and for tomorrow. Thank you for giving me every second to live and lessen the suckiness of my world. It is truly
hard to live and exist, but I’m grateful that those People Up There think that I’m still worth something and deserve to wake up another day.
Thank you for the happiness. I’ve always been apprehensive when it comes to welcoming happiness – I’m scared of being too happy, because too much glee in one day means awful consequences the next. When I laughed too hard today, that might mean I would cry too hard tomorrow. I guess that’s why I haven’t felt and lived life in its fullest – because I’m too secured, surrounded by too many walls, taking one step forward and two steps back. It’s like I’m dancing to the wrong rhythm. But still, thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for making me happy even though I take as little doses of it as possible.
And then thank you for the sadness. I must be awfully weird for being grateful about the heartaches and miseries, but you know what they say, trials only make people stronger. Thank you for testing me through trials and obstacles, and proving me that facing problems isn’t the end of the world. Thank you for making me smarter and resilient.
Thank you for my family. I know I’m not the best daughter/sister/family member out there – I barely show my appreciation for them, and I’m the resident awkward-member-slash-black-sheep during family dinners, but I’m
really grateful to have them, trust me. Even though our family isn’t perfect, I’m lucky that they are always there to support me, my dreams, my ravings and cravings, my fangirling sessions and my I’m-sexy-and-I-know-it fantasies. It’s nice to know that I can love and also feel loved in return. I love you guys, please remember that.
Thank you for giving me friends that stay. I know I haven’t been too friendly lately, and haven’t reached the right number of friends required for my age, but I really don’t care. I find it ridiculous to have too many friends when I’m sure only a few of them will understand me. I need understanding people in my life, considering my infinitely developing weirdness. I’d rather have a small group of friends that I can be my crazy self with, than a big group that makes me feel awkward and out-of-place. I love you friends.
Thank you for the little things that give me happiness; the authors I wish were my friends; the musicians and their epic music that make me feel young; the books and characters that give me all unnecessary feels; and the people who inspire me to work hard and continue chasing my dreams. Thank you for giving me chances to wander and wonder – these are the moments that open my eyes wider to the beauty of life and the endless possibilities that are waiting for me behind those walls.
Thank you for this little infatuation/budding love I’m feeling for this particularly awesome guy. It sucks that it’s not reciprocated yet, and it sucks more that I’m
not sure if I want it to be reciprocated or not. It sucks that I miss him every day and I’m not sure if he genuinely misses me, too. But despite all that uncalled-for heartaches, I’m grateful that I met him and we’re friends. I’m thankful knowing that this heart of mine still beats for someone and that it’s not too pessimistic to not feel again. I’m happy to know that I can still feel.
Thank you for the opportunities, both the ones that I grabbed and the ones that I missed. Thank you for giving me second chances to correct my mistakes. Thank you for the experiences I have that made me who I am today, be it fabulous or disappointing. Thank you for the recognitions, the hard-work-that-paid-off, the bitch-modes-that-became-fruitful and the moments that made me feel awesome. Thank you for the extremes and its in-betweens. Thank you for making me experience what “epic” is all about.
Thank you for the hope and the strength to carry on, to stand up and move forward.
Thank you for all every breathing second of my every waking day.
2013: In A Nutshell
So, 2013: Everyone’s writing something about 2013 – their experiences, the things they’ve learned, the summary of the year as a whole. Everyone’s writing how their year’s been like. I really have nothing to do so I might as well write my own year review. (I guess this is the sequel to
2012: A In Nutshell.)
Seeing Colton Dixon in person (February). Yes, I did. I wasn’t able to come near him and touch his hair or smell his breath, because I didn’t want to. But the experience was worth it. Dang, he’s glorious. When he came down from the bridge (whatever), he was…
shining. What the fuck, that sounds like what Edward Cullen would look like. (
Read more.)
Hosting Acquaintance Party 2013 (August). One of the tasks as the newly-appointed president of the Liberal Arts Society is to organize and host the school’s acquaintance party for this year. It was a trying task and everything seemed like they’re trying to eat me alive, but thank goodness we were able to pull it off. The feedbacks we got from our schoolmates were so nice I almost cried. Sometimes, bitching around is worth it. (
Read more.)
Books, duh. I said at the start of the year that I’m targeting 20 reads. Guess what? I reached it. Even better: I have 37 reads this year. And 95% of them are
really good. I haven’t read voraciously this year because of my epic juggling of school works and whatnot, but I’m really glad I’ve met characters I love and love to hate, learned lessons and discovered the magic of wandering in a person’s life. So what’s my favorite book this year? Bullshit, that’s like asking what my favorite ice cream flavor is.
Movies to die for. The best movies I’ve seen this year were:
Warm Bodies,
The Host,
City of Bones,
Sea of Monsters and
Catching Fire. I wasn’t able to see every movie I wrote in my bucket list, but thankfully I was able to see some movies I’ve always wanted to see and some I never thought I’d love but did:
Ten Things I Hate About You,
One Day,
Stuck In Love,
Speak,
The Cure,
Pitch Perfect and
Fight Club. One things that changed in me this year was my taste in movies. Before I only go for the fun-to-the-eyes kind and judge it according to the sales it had acquired. Now I don’t give a fuck about sales; I care about production aesthetics and the story line. Independent, Sundance entries, Oscar-worthy films are my thing now.
Albums my ears die for. Besides being a bookworm and a movie buff, the genre of music I listen to has definitely reached a mile long. I’ve discovered Passion Pit, Vampire Weekend, Fun, Mumford and Sons, The Lumineers, Andrew Belle, Capital Cities, etc. My love for Parachute and The Summer Set has reached its peak and will continue to develop until this fangirl feels eat me whole.
Candy Fair 2013. Last 2012, Diana Agulto and I had missed Candy Fair. But the odds were in our favor and our stars had perfectly aligned because we had experienced the sweetest, hottest, fangirl-worthy fair of the year! We had so much fun with the booths, freebies, good looking boys and really, really beautiful girls (they’re so beautiful I wasn’t sure if I was lesbian or just jealous). And the best thing ever: I finally met Ms. Marla Miniano, the current editor-in-chief of
Candy Magazine! We’ve been exchanging tweets and gushing about random things prior to Candy Fair, and so it was a dream come true for me to meet her. (Gosh, I’m such a fangirl.)
Internship at Knowledge Channel. One of the many things I’m really thankful for this year is my internship spot at Knowledge Channel. I love my experiences as an intern so far – it’s one of my means to patching things up with a lost friend named Social Life (although this internship also causes me to lose contact with blogging).
Being in love. I can imagine your face right now: wide eyes and mouth open like a fish. I can ever hear the gears working in your brain. Just to be clear: I’m still single, and will stay that way until, I don’t know, until I get a decent life (when I turn 22, probably). Being in love doesn’t mean I need to have a
boyfriend to kiss and cuddle with. I just like someone long and strong enough for me to admit to myself that I’m already in love. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, my Great Crush is now my Great Love. Congratulations, I’m officially in love with someone I haven’t met in almost two years. And he doesn’t know anything about it – which is really fine by me. We’d probably never be together in the near future, we’d probably stay as plain as friends until we die, but that’s okay. He’ll always be the Great Love I’ll never forget.
Have an awesome 2014 ahead! (The word “awesome” is so awesome.)
← older / top / newer →
a woeful & chaotic diary since 071409
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