A Dementor's kiss
Wednesday, February 17, 2010 @ 1:15 PM | 0 comment(s)

This feels like when Harry Potter encountered a Dementor in Hogwarts train. All the happiness inside him was sucked out. It felt like he will never be happy again.


I am frustrated right. at. this. moment. It started just this morning. I was late for our examinations because of watching MYX International Top 20. You know how absorbed I get when I watch anything music related, right? So I immediately took out my pen, calculator and a scratch paper as soon as I got into my seat. My mind was totally jammed, and it took me one long minute to sink in the things that was happening. I was so slow. Like, I still needed to stare and reread the questions just to select the best answer. Then, I sucked at the Filipino exams. I already got six answers wrong. I know that I will not like the outcome of it. Yes, I know, I should think positive, but I just can’t. Not that I really did very bad at it. But I am really trying my hardest to make higher grades in Filipino. And because of what had happened, I got depressed again, and I now feel hopeless. I need something to make me happy.

I am also frustrated over petty, trivial things. I am frustrated about still not having something to wear for Prom, for still not having my mask, for not having enough money to meet my school needs and the likes. I am frustrated that I still don’t have the only thing that I would want right now. I am mad that my MP3 won’t work. I hate the fact that I don’t get the things my way.

And the results? I get irritated easily. I don’t like too much noise. I don’t like to think too much. I hate every little thing that I see. I hate interacting with people. I am even mean to Zandro, my best friend – my best friend! I just want to cry this out. But I chose not to, because I will get sleepy, and I need to start my work on many things. But I hope doing this works. Sigh.


I so wish that I am Harry Potter, with his eleven-inch wand, made from holly with a phoenix feather core. If I could only swish it and chant Expecto Patronum. I need anything sweet and exciting, happiness and someone to cry into.


“God will never give you something you cannot handle.”
Sam Concepcion

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a woeful & chaotic diary since 071409