Dear Notebook
I have this customized notebook where I write anything about everything and decide if I should post it here on my blog. It’s like a
draft notebook, and it’s usually messy – both in penmanship and grammar. Anyway, this is what my nth (‘cause I have a lot, so I lost count) notebook looks like:
I’m sharing to you, my dear readers (if I have any), the latest entry that I wrote last
January 22, 2011. I may have to edit some, because what I wrote should be actually kept in confidence. But what the heck, I have nothing to post here… So yeah, don’t tell anyone, okay?
Hello Notebook (yeah, that’s what I call it)! I’m sorry if I haven’t been dropping by lately, and if every time I drop by, I always use you as my outlet of anger and depression. You know for a fact that you’re the only one whom I can tell all my problems with, except for the Great God, of course. So thank you for always being there and for not giving up on me, even if I already had left you. :( (Yes, again, I talk to my precious little things that way.)
Anyway, I don’t know what to write actually. Lemme think… Should I rant? Okay!
Let’s start with college. This week (January 16-22, 2011) had been crazy and tiring. We just had our first
Hospitality Management week… and I’m hoping it’ll be my last. Yes, I know it’s a bit mean, but I’m actually praying and hoping that I’ll be admitted to and accepted in UP Diliman. I can’t – and Mom can’t – shoulder all the fancy expenses in our school anymore (But I’m not talking trash about this college; it’s up to you if you’d look at this that way, or just a harmless rant from a little depressed girl). I cried the last time because I don’t know where to get financial help from. I even asked God for money, though I know that’s improper and wrong. I am desperate (I always am). I need money for the tour expenses, and I can’t miss this tour again. It’s compulsory. Do you know where I can get extra money or a part-time job? (Yes, I’m desperate like that.) How I wish I had transferred earlier, or I didn’t enroll in that school in the first place. I wish I could turn back time… I
need to turn back the time! Oh Great God, please help me.
I’m also having small problems with my friends and the way I act toward them. I have this girl friend that I’ve been sharing classes with for almost the whole year. She’s always too shy and has less-initiative, but too much (or too less) of it is already irritating. I don’t like such type of people – the type where they can’t try things even if they like to just because they don’t want to be exposed or embarrassed. I know, no one wants to be embarrassed, but how will you learn if you don’t take risks? And a little mistake won’t actually socially kill you. Your isolation will likely lead you to more shame. Seriously. I know that everybody goes or went through that stage, but when will you start stepping up and moving on to pass that phase? Don’t get me wrong. I love her – and I’m saying this because I care for her, and I want her to be ready when the situation demands it. I might be telling her this stuff if ever I’ll be leaving the school. Am I despicable? I don’t think so.
Let’s go to the brighter side, okay? Positive vibes, come on! Remember
First College Crush? I may be having feelings for him again! Oh goodness! The butterflies came back last December through
Facebook (see what this social networking site can do? Insane!). I was always online and obsessing over
Harry Potter. I learned that he loves
Harry Potter, too, and yes, he’s always online. He said that he’s Dudley because of his former DP, and just this week, he called me Hermione. Awwyer! What the hell. We don’t talk most of the time, but we say hi and hello every time we see each other. I may be just looking at this beyond the line. I don’t know. It’s just a little, harmless, stupid crush. I still love that Sam Concepcion guy more than any other non-relative boys!
Hey Sam, hey Sam!So that’s everything I want to say. I was actually planning to write about what happened earlier at home, but that’s too shallow – and I won’t write about family hates anymore. It’s not healthy. So yeah, thank you again Notebook for your hospitality and openness! I love you!
And I love you too, my blog. No bitterness, okay?
Love always,
Faye
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a woeful & chaotic diary since 071409
Dear Notebook
I have this customized notebook where I write anything about everything and decide if I should post it here on my blog. It’s like a
draft notebook, and it’s usually messy – both in penmanship and grammar. Anyway, this is what my nth (‘cause I have a lot, so I lost count) notebook looks like:
I’m sharing to you, my dear readers (if I have any), the latest entry that I wrote last
January 22, 2011. I may have to edit some, because what I wrote should be actually kept in confidence. But what the heck, I have nothing to post here… So yeah, don’t tell anyone, okay?
Hello Notebook (yeah, that’s what I call it)! I’m sorry if I haven’t been dropping by lately, and if every time I drop by, I always use you as my outlet of anger and depression. You know for a fact that you’re the only one whom I can tell all my problems with, except for the Great God, of course. So thank you for always being there and for not giving up on me, even if I already had left you. :( (Yes, again, I talk to my precious little things that way.)
Anyway, I don’t know what to write actually. Lemme think… Should I rant? Okay!
Let’s start with college. This week (January 16-22, 2011) had been crazy and tiring. We just had our first
Hospitality Management week… and I’m hoping it’ll be my last. Yes, I know it’s a bit mean, but I’m actually praying and hoping that I’ll be admitted to and accepted in UP Diliman. I can’t – and Mom can’t – shoulder all the fancy expenses in our school anymore (But I’m not talking trash about this college; it’s up to you if you’d look at this that way, or just a harmless rant from a little depressed girl). I cried the last time because I don’t know where to get financial help from. I even asked God for money, though I know that’s improper and wrong. I am desperate (I always am). I need money for the tour expenses, and I can’t miss this tour again. It’s compulsory. Do you know where I can get extra money or a part-time job? (Yes, I’m desperate like that.) How I wish I had transferred earlier, or I didn’t enroll in that school in the first place. I wish I could turn back time… I
need to turn back the time! Oh Great God, please help me.
I’m also having small problems with my friends and the way I act toward them. I have this girl friend that I’ve been sharing classes with for almost the whole year. She’s always too shy and has less-initiative, but too much (or too less) of it is already irritating. I don’t like such type of people – the type where they can’t try things even if they like to just because they don’t want to be exposed or embarrassed. I know, no one wants to be embarrassed, but how will you learn if you don’t take risks? And a little mistake won’t actually socially kill you. Your isolation will likely lead you to more shame. Seriously. I know that everybody goes or went through that stage, but when will you start stepping up and moving on to pass that phase? Don’t get me wrong. I love her – and I’m saying this because I care for her, and I want her to be ready when the situation demands it. I might be telling her this stuff if ever I’ll be leaving the school. Am I despicable? I don’t think so.
Let’s go to the brighter side, okay? Positive vibes, come on! Remember
First College Crush? I may be having feelings for him again! Oh goodness! The butterflies came back last December through
Facebook (see what this social networking site can do? Insane!). I was always online and obsessing over
Harry Potter. I learned that he loves
Harry Potter, too, and yes, he’s always online. He said that he’s Dudley because of his former DP, and just this week, he called me Hermione. Awwyer! What the hell. We don’t talk most of the time, but we say hi and hello every time we see each other. I may be just looking at this beyond the line. I don’t know. It’s just a little, harmless, stupid crush. I still love that Sam Concepcion guy more than any other non-relative boys!
Hey Sam, hey Sam!So that’s everything I want to say. I was actually planning to write about what happened earlier at home, but that’s too shallow – and I won’t write about family hates anymore. It’s not healthy. So yeah, thank you again Notebook for your hospitality and openness! I love you!
And I love you too, my blog. No bitterness, okay?
Love always,
Faye
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a woeful & chaotic diary since 071409
Profile
Already several months had passed, and I am missing
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry more and more each fleeting day. There are just some things in life that we can never forget – especially that something that had given us knowledge, skills, strong relationships and a second home. I am glad that everything in the magical world is now at peace, since Voldemort (yes, I can now say his name; no need to be afraid) had died. I had secretly admired Tom Marvolo Riddle (Voldemort’s birth name) though, because of his intelligence, passion and love for magic. Wasn’t he very clever to think of and conjure his seven
Horcruxes to preserve his life, or form a clan of
Death Eaters who were very loyal to him and would give up their lives just for him to succeed? Not everybody can acquire that much loyalty from people these days. I do not, however, admire him for the way he had carried out all of his plans. He had a good agenda, his means just weren’t morally right. But he still is one of the darkest wizards of all time… and let’s leave it that way.
Oh, for all those who are baffled of what I’m saying here and who the heck I am, my name is
Christine Faye Ordas, and I am an alumnus of Hogwarts. I came from the bronze-and-blue-clad house of the smart ass witch Rowena Ravenclaw and her dictum
“Wit beyond measure is a man’s greatest treasure.” And yes, I know the wonderful Luna Lovegood (she’s such a darling) and Harry Potter’s first crush Cho Chang. I had just left Hogwarts last May. Right now I am trying to pursue a career in magical researches, literature and writing. It’s my dream to inscribe intellectual books, publish and sell them in
Flourish and Blotts for the future Hogwarts students’ use. I am also planning to credibly write for the
Daily Prophet, the magical world’s primary news bulletin. And of course, I will be very much honored to contribute to Mr. Xenophilius Lovegood’s
Quibbler (hence, my interest in magical researches). I have always found the Lovegoods a fascinating family, and I bet working with and for them will be very exciting. Or maybe, in Merlin’s beard’s time, I can write legends and bedtime stories like the famous – and wickedly brilliant – Beedle the Bard.
And that’s how my life goes these days. I am utterly missing my old school, my friends, the Great Hall, the bronze eagle knocker just outside the Ravenclaw common room, Professor Flitwick (the head of our house), Hogsmeade, the Quidditch matches (although I didn’t actually play for the house), the moving portraits, the castle ghosts, the pumpkins on Halloween, the giant pine trees on Christmas, Rubeus Hagrid’s (Hogwarts’ gamekeeper) tea and treacle fudge – even the crabby Argus Filch (Hogwarts’ caretaker) I miss. Maybe I can visit the school grounds sometimes and see how the magical world’s been doing since Voldemort died (I’ve been spending my months in the muggle world, you see). I’ve heard everybody’s been moving on and starting all over again; the ministry is back on work under Kingsley Shacklebolt; and Harry Potter’s scar haven’t been disturbing him since.
All is well, indeed.
And because of that, we should celebrate and drink firewhisky! Oh, I still don’t drink firewhisky; I can take butterbeer or tea or pumpkin juice – just not firewhisky, please.
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