Nineteen Years Later
Nineteen. That’s me: a nineteen year old girl who is forever held prisoner by a nemesis called Puberty; a nineteen year old girl who is forever a slave inside the manor of Awkwardness.
It’s been a year since I first told myself to grow up and be mature and careful because any wrong move can legitimately send me behind bars. I’m still careful; I haven’t broken any legal laws (not my Mom’s, though). I’ve become mature long before dinosaurs roamed the world. Have I grown up? It’s still tipping the balance.
In my nineteenth year as a human being, I’ve come to realize how annoyingly annoying I’ve been living my life. I’m learning a lot about life and more cheesy stuff. I’m learning, but I’m
just learning. The knowledge stops there – meaning I don’t use that knowledge in my life; I don’t apply what I learned to make my life better, just as how much I don’t use sine, cosine and tangent in my everyday life. I’m stubborn. I believe I know a lot of things, but who am I kidding? I don’t even know where East and West are! (This is serious; I only know North and South.) But even if I suck at Making My Life Better,
I know myself. I know who I am (a weird girl); my strengths (do you consider non-stop reading as strength?); my hamartia (aggravating self-pity); my favorite book (
Paper Towns); my insecurities (everything?); my quirks (everything); my fantasies (Sam Concepcion).
I could have written away the reasons why I believe I’ve been living annoyingly since that’s me and that’s what I do most of the time (i.e. self-pity), but right now I just want to dedicate this entry to the wonderful things I have right now. I guess it’s time to stop and take a look at my blessings and be extremely thankful for it. (Honestly, I already have written an entry about the bad things in me, but I decided to just publish it next time.)
The horoscope said that 2012 is for the Rooster babies. From the start, I led myself to believing this prediction. I’m not sure, but I guess this is true. Although I don’t know if there’s really luck or I just take chances and good things find me. A lot of things are happening. Everything is looking up for me. Just this morning I bought a copy of
The Philippine Daily Inquirer (our local news bulletin) to check out their
2bU Lifestyle section where my article lies.
My article. I got
published, in
black and white. I call this my “Immortalization Escapade” (because, you know, when you’re in paper or in something that can last long, you’re “immortalized”).
This escapade to eternal living started with this ad where the said bulletin was looking for Student Contributors and all that. I tried my luck and wrote few essays for them to evaluate. It was a long process. I sent them through email on March and got a response two months later I guess, and then one of the essays was published today. My article was published on the day I was born. I’m an immortal! I’m forever nineteen, yay! The Salvatore brothers can now recruit me to join their gorgeous team on Mystic Falls! I guess good things come to those who wait. I don’t know if my school or my father or my best friend knows about this already. I haven’t told my mom yet. I hope the people closest to me won’t read it because it’s so cheesy I’m quite embarrassed. I had just accomplished one of my life goals and I feel
uncomfortable about it? SMH.
With all the blessings I’m receiving, I can’t help but be scared of its drawbacks. You know, when you’re super happy today, something awful will happen the next. I never stopped hoping that everything will always be
happiness-happiness-happiness, and not
happiness-sadness-happiness. Then I realized that if I keep expecting for things to always be in my favor, then I’m a damned human being. In life we’d always have our ups and downs, and I guess living a life means facing what fate brings and standing tall after the storm. I know saying things like “Trials make us stronger” or “There’s a rainbow after every storm” is so cliché it’s everybody’s mantra. But this is true, even if rainbows are a bit unicorn-ish. It happens, so let’s not be afraid of pain. Pain doesn’t look like a unicorn or a cute kitten, but pain is a
friend (although unconventional most of the time).
For the past several months, I always find myself smiling, happy, contented and colorful all over. And I couldn’t ask for more. There are some things that I dislike or aren’t in my favor, but I always find a way to make things better and suit my desire. I’ve always been picky, and before I didn’t have a wide range of choices, but right now I can pick and pick and still win in the end. Maybe it’s in my mindset, maybe it’s really for me. And I’m deeply thankful for all the fireworks, champagne, confetti and all cute things. I’ve been so blessed from the start of the year, and I know that it will end just like how it started. I’m living a rollercoaster ride that only goes up… even though I have fear of heights.
I know my love life isn’t blossoming right now (forever liking someone I can’t have). I know that I haven’t seen Sam Concepcion yet in person this year. I’m freakin’ sure that I won’t be seeing Colton Dixon when they come here for their tour (praying for this, though). But I’m still happy. The things I can’t have don’t matter because I have wonderful people and treasures that matter more: 1) my mom is the best; 2) my brother is sweet; 3) my best friend is amazing; 4) Sam will be my husband in the near future; 5) my favorite author makes me cry, which is why 6) fictions are awesome; 7) I’m not disabled and 8) still can write, which is why 9) my blogs are still breathing. Added all together, I conclude that 10) God is super amazeballs!
I’m making a mental note to live my life as wonderful as possible, especially this year since it’s my last year as a teenager. Everyone knows I don’t have a colorful childhood and my adolescence is in pastels, so right now I will do my best to close my hormonal years using super bright neons. What, can’t I use hues as a metaphor for my life?
Today is my birthday, by the way, if you haven’t gotten the idea yet.
PS: Is it just me, or does the title of this entry also reminds you of the final chapter from the Harry Potter series?
a woeful & chaotic diary since 071409
Nineteen Years Later
Nineteen. That’s me: a nineteen year old girl who is forever held prisoner by a nemesis called Puberty; a nineteen year old girl who is forever a slave inside the manor of Awkwardness.
It’s been a year since I first told myself to grow up and be mature and careful because any wrong move can legitimately send me behind bars. I’m still careful; I haven’t broken any legal laws (not my Mom’s, though). I’ve become mature long before dinosaurs roamed the world. Have I grown up? It’s still tipping the balance.
In my nineteenth year as a human being, I’ve come to realize how annoyingly annoying I’ve been living my life. I’m learning a lot about life and more cheesy stuff. I’m learning, but I’m
just learning. The knowledge stops there – meaning I don’t use that knowledge in my life; I don’t apply what I learned to make my life better, just as how much I don’t use sine, cosine and tangent in my everyday life. I’m stubborn. I believe I know a lot of things, but who am I kidding? I don’t even know where East and West are! (This is serious; I only know North and South.) But even if I suck at Making My Life Better,
I know myself. I know who I am (a weird girl); my strengths (do you consider non-stop reading as strength?); my hamartia (aggravating self-pity); my favorite book (
Paper Towns); my insecurities (everything?); my quirks (everything); my fantasies (Sam Concepcion).
I could have written away the reasons why I believe I’ve been living annoyingly since that’s me and that’s what I do most of the time (i.e. self-pity), but right now I just want to dedicate this entry to the wonderful things I have right now. I guess it’s time to stop and take a look at my blessings and be extremely thankful for it. (Honestly, I already have written an entry about the bad things in me, but I decided to just publish it next time.)
The horoscope said that 2012 is for the Rooster babies. From the start, I led myself to believing this prediction. I’m not sure, but I guess this is true. Although I don’t know if there’s really luck or I just take chances and good things find me. A lot of things are happening. Everything is looking up for me. Just this morning I bought a copy of
The Philippine Daily Inquirer (our local news bulletin) to check out their
2bU Lifestyle section where my article lies.
My article. I got
published, in
black and white. I call this my “Immortalization Escapade” (because, you know, when you’re in paper or in something that can last long, you’re “immortalized”).
This escapade to eternal living started with this ad where the said bulletin was looking for Student Contributors and all that. I tried my luck and wrote few essays for them to evaluate. It was a long process. I sent them through email on March and got a response two months later I guess, and then one of the essays was published today. My article was published on the day I was born. I’m an immortal! I’m forever nineteen, yay! The Salvatore brothers can now recruit me to join their gorgeous team on Mystic Falls! I guess good things come to those who wait. I don’t know if my school or my father or my best friend knows about this already. I haven’t told my mom yet. I hope the people closest to me won’t read it because it’s so cheesy I’m quite embarrassed. I had just accomplished one of my life goals and I feel
uncomfortable about it? SMH.
With all the blessings I’m receiving, I can’t help but be scared of its drawbacks. You know, when you’re super happy today, something awful will happen the next. I never stopped hoping that everything will always be
happiness-happiness-happiness, and not
happiness-sadness-happiness. Then I realized that if I keep expecting for things to always be in my favor, then I’m a damned human being. In life we’d always have our ups and downs, and I guess living a life means facing what fate brings and standing tall after the storm. I know saying things like “Trials make us stronger” or “There’s a rainbow after every storm” is so cliché it’s everybody’s mantra. But this is true, even if rainbows are a bit unicorn-ish. It happens, so let’s not be afraid of pain. Pain doesn’t look like a unicorn or a cute kitten, but pain is a
friend (although unconventional most of the time).
For the past several months, I always find myself smiling, happy, contented and colorful all over. And I couldn’t ask for more. There are some things that I dislike or aren’t in my favor, but I always find a way to make things better and suit my desire. I’ve always been picky, and before I didn’t have a wide range of choices, but right now I can pick and pick and still win in the end. Maybe it’s in my mindset, maybe it’s really for me. And I’m deeply thankful for all the fireworks, champagne, confetti and all cute things. I’ve been so blessed from the start of the year, and I know that it will end just like how it started. I’m living a rollercoaster ride that only goes up… even though I have fear of heights.
I know my love life isn’t blossoming right now (forever liking someone I can’t have). I know that I haven’t seen Sam Concepcion yet in person this year. I’m freakin’ sure that I won’t be seeing Colton Dixon when they come here for their tour (praying for this, though). But I’m still happy. The things I can’t have don’t matter because I have wonderful people and treasures that matter more: 1) my mom is the best; 2) my brother is sweet; 3) my best friend is amazing; 4) Sam will be my husband in the near future; 5) my favorite author makes me cry, which is why 6) fictions are awesome; 7) I’m not disabled and 8) still can write, which is why 9) my blogs are still breathing. Added all together, I conclude that 10) God is super amazeballs!
I’m making a mental note to live my life as wonderful as possible, especially this year since it’s my last year as a teenager. Everyone knows I don’t have a colorful childhood and my adolescence is in pastels, so right now I will do my best to close my hormonal years using super bright neons. What, can’t I use hues as a metaphor for my life?
Today is my birthday, by the way, if you haven’t gotten the idea yet.
PS: Is it just me, or does the title of this entry also reminds you of the final chapter from the Harry Potter series?
a woeful & chaotic diary since 071409
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Already several months had passed, and I am missing
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry more and more each fleeting day. There are just some things in life that we can never forget – especially that something that had given us knowledge, skills, strong relationships and a second home. I am glad that everything in the magical world is now at peace, since Voldemort (yes, I can now say his name; no need to be afraid) had died. I had secretly admired Tom Marvolo Riddle (Voldemort’s birth name) though, because of his intelligence, passion and love for magic. Wasn’t he very clever to think of and conjure his seven
Horcruxes to preserve his life, or form a clan of
Death Eaters who were very loyal to him and would give up their lives just for him to succeed? Not everybody can acquire that much loyalty from people these days. I do not, however, admire him for the way he had carried out all of his plans. He had a good agenda, his means just weren’t morally right. But he still is one of the darkest wizards of all time… and let’s leave it that way.
Oh, for all those who are baffled of what I’m saying here and who the heck I am, my name is
Christine Faye Ordas, and I am an alumnus of Hogwarts. I came from the bronze-and-blue-clad house of the smart ass witch Rowena Ravenclaw and her dictum
“Wit beyond measure is a man’s greatest treasure.” And yes, I know the wonderful Luna Lovegood (she’s such a darling) and Harry Potter’s first crush Cho Chang. I had just left Hogwarts last May. Right now I am trying to pursue a career in magical researches, literature and writing. It’s my dream to inscribe intellectual books, publish and sell them in
Flourish and Blotts for the future Hogwarts students’ use. I am also planning to credibly write for the
Daily Prophet, the magical world’s primary news bulletin. And of course, I will be very much honored to contribute to Mr. Xenophilius Lovegood’s
Quibbler (hence, my interest in magical researches). I have always found the Lovegoods a fascinating family, and I bet working with and for them will be very exciting. Or maybe, in Merlin’s beard’s time, I can write legends and bedtime stories like the famous – and wickedly brilliant – Beedle the Bard.
And that’s how my life goes these days. I am utterly missing my old school, my friends, the Great Hall, the bronze eagle knocker just outside the Ravenclaw common room, Professor Flitwick (the head of our house), Hogsmeade, the Quidditch matches (although I didn’t actually play for the house), the moving portraits, the castle ghosts, the pumpkins on Halloween, the giant pine trees on Christmas, Rubeus Hagrid’s (Hogwarts’ gamekeeper) tea and treacle fudge – even the crabby Argus Filch (Hogwarts’ caretaker) I miss. Maybe I can visit the school grounds sometimes and see how the magical world’s been doing since Voldemort died (I’ve been spending my months in the muggle world, you see). I’ve heard everybody’s been moving on and starting all over again; the ministry is back on work under Kingsley Shacklebolt; and Harry Potter’s scar haven’t been disturbing him since.
All is well, indeed.
And because of that, we should celebrate and drink firewhisky! Oh, I still don’t drink firewhisky; I can take butterbeer or tea or pumpkin juice – just not firewhisky, please.
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